"Dear friends, although I was very eager to write to you about the salvation we share, I felt I had to write and urge you to contend for the faith that was once for all entrusted to the saints" (Jude 1:3).
I haven't written in my blog for a while, but I was really moved by the quiet time that I spent with the Lord today and I felt that I should post it because I think that we would all me much happier and healthier if we lived according to the Spirit more.
Bible Verses:
"But put on the Lord Jesus Christ and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts" (Rom. 13:14).
"For if we live, we live for the Lord, or if we die, we die for the Lord; therefore whether we live or die, we are the Lord's" (Rom. 14:8). "For the Kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit" (Rom. 14:17).
"So then we pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another" (Rom. 14:19).
"Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit" (Rom. 15:13).
"...by the love of the Spirit" (Rom. 15:30).
Examination:
Paul is reminding the Romans of the basic points of the Gospel and living according to the Christian way. There are 2 levels on which he speaks: material and spiritual (Rom. 15:27). Materially, if we live or die, we are the Lord's. But spiritually, we are to pursue the Spirit, which is Life. When we pursue these things of the Spirit, meaning that they do not belong to us but only to the Spirit, we are sowing in the Spirit to reap life. We are to die to the flesh by making for it no provisions. Rather we should pursue righteousness, peace, joy, love, building each other up, hope, power of the Spirit.
Applications for Spiritual Growth:
What provisions do I make for the flesh?
I like to sleep too much, I am too emotional, judging, impatient, bitter and spiritually lazy.
How should I treat my body, life and others as though they are the Lord's?
I am way too focused on the material and not the spiritual (i.e. clothes, how I look, what others think about me, how I feel, what I want, etc.)
How do I pursue the Spirit? How can I do this more?
I'm going to let God show me this one, because as Addison Road's song says: What do I know of Holy?
Please pray this prayer for you and for me:
Lord, you are Life and your Spirit, who lives in me is power, peace and love. Help me to feed the Spirit and to die to my flesh everyday. In the name of Jesus, bind my heart and mind and all that I am to serve the Spirit in righteousness and truth. I thank you that you have given me everything I need. The only thing left for me is to choose. Give me the strength to follow the narrow path of your will, the endurance to stay in the Spirit and the discipline to die to my flesh. Amen.
I'm not sure if this is Biblical, but I don't see any reason why I can't make this comparison. It helps me and maybe it will help you too.
This is on the topic of repentance and forgiveness--everyone's favorite! Yeah right.
"For I know my transgressions and my sin is ever before me." (Psalm 51:3)
As I read this verse, something stuck out to me. I know in my life I try to ignore my stubborn sins that won't go away and I fear asking God to show me my ugly sin so that he can forgive it. Sure, God knows our hearts and knows what we think, say and do, but we still have to reveal it to Him. We have to acknowledge that our "transgression and sin are ever before us."
We go throughout life trying "play ignorant." (Please don't get offended, just stay with me.)
Elaine does it on Seinfeld when she tries to avoid a conversation in a cab by pretending to be deaf.
Some girls have been guilty of "playing dumb" to appear innocent and attract boys.
Some ESL students who can speak perfect English try to trick the substitute that they can't so they don't have to participate in class. (I know this one from experience!)
I sometimes find myself not wanting to take the time to examine my heart before God so that he can reveal and forgive my sin because its ugly and I don't want to go there. Can't God just forgive all of my sins when I say "Forgive me of my sins."?
The answer is yes, but according to the Psalmist, he acknowledges his transgression and sin before God when he is asking for forgiveness.
Consider this: When you have bugs in your home, you call an exterminator. You must first call him, however. He just doesn't come over. Sure he knows that there are pests living in people's houses out in the world, but he waits until he is called before he just goes around door to door killing them all at will. When he gets to your home, he may ask where the bug problem is. You have to tell him or show him so that the poison will effectively kill the heart of the problem. Then after you have acknowledged where the bugs are hiding out, you give him permission to get rid of them. A price is paid and you are free from bugs.
What if I said that the "exterminator" is a metaphor for Jesus and that God just happens to be in the "extermination" business.
When you call (pray to) the "exterminating" business, the owner (God) sends his exterminator (Jesus) to get rid of the bugs (sin) in your life. When he gets there, you then explain your "bug" problem: that you have bugs (sin), you name (confess) them and reveal where they are hiding in your home (heart). The exterminator (Jesus) then removes the unwanted pests (sin) in your life because he knows what he is looking for and where to find it. Now the best part! Instead of paying for this "extermination" service out of your own pocket, the exterminator (Jesus) picks up the bill (price for forgiving sins) because the owner (God) of the "extermination" business said to him that this one is on the house. No cost. What's even better is that the "exterminating" business has a 100% satisfaction guarantee. Plus, the exterminator (Jesus) left you with some daily treatments (the Word) to ensure that the bugs (sin) does not come back. If the bugs (sin) comes back, the owner (God) will send the exterminator (Jesus) out again to rid you of your pest problem (forgive you of your sins) again. For free.
I hope this gets you thinking about the importance of confession, repentance and forgiveness. Be blessed!
This is a shot from my very first test shoot when I became a professional model in 2006. When I look at this it makes me sad because I believed that I should look like the world said that I should in order to be of any value. I had an eating disorder--I know that now. I still struggle with having an eating disorder especially now that I have gained 20 or 25 lbs. I don't weigh myself so I don't know for sure. I wanted to post this to remind myself and others how small and sickly I got.
I also want to add that an eating disorder is any form of an unhealthy relationship with food no matter what it is or how you look. I look completely normal now, but the truth is I am not free from the eating disorder mindset yet. Now that God has opened my eyes to this world, I see that most women have some degree or another of an eating disorder. What makes me mad about this is that eating disorders are not taken seriously enough. Most of the time they are misunderstood. They are either applauded as a means to do what ever necessary to be skinny or shunned as if you have leprosy. If someone says they have an eating disorder, why don't we take it as seriously as we do when someone says they have cancer? All that this does is to further push those with tendencies to develop an eating disorder further into its grasps. I used to think that because I wasn't skinny enough, I didn't have an eating disorder. Believing this lie almost ruined my life. With the help of God, counseling and a supportive family, I am beginning to claim back my life.
It's crazy to me that during the time that I modeled and afterwards as my eating disorder persisted, the skinnier I got, the fatter I felt. I'm proud to show off my body now because I have worked harder now to become healthy physically, spiritually and mentally than I ever did in my pursuit to be a small as possible. I am learning to love my body as God made it.
I also wanted to post this pic of me and my beautiful sister at Christmas 2009, because this is how God intended my body to be--curvy with hips! I remember when I saw this picture I thought, I look like a woman! I am becoming beautiful because I am becoming the woman that God created me to be!
Why am I writing about this? Am I bragging or asking for attention? I will let the following Scripture answer these questions:
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.(2 Corinthians 12:9)
So I got the new Victoria's Secret Catalog yesterday and I love looking through it at all of the new fall fashions. I LOVE BOOTIES AND BOOTS! I think that the reason I love fall fashion is because it makes me think of back to school. The only other thing I need now is a great Office Depot or Walmart Back to School catalog and I will be all set. Thanks Mom, for making school fun! Even one better, I might be getting a new computer today! YEA! My Apple-loving husband has recommended that I get an Apple. Now I feel so cool! Sorry PC, but you're out of here!
It happened suddenly and I still struggle with understanding it all. Just last night I was thinking about him--like I often do. I don't know how to tell my future children what happened to Grandpa. --"My dad was killed in an accident with a gun. It went off while it was in his hand in front of his dad, my grandpa."-- I read that to myself and I want to pretend that it is someone else that I am reading about, but it's not. I don't think about that part of it much because its so awful, but I still don't know how to make since of it all. I know that it was God's will because he was saved. But I still miss him a lot and I wonder what he thought of when he realized that he had been shot and was going to die. I wonder if he thought of us girls. I’m pretty sure he did. What did he think about us though? Did he think about my wedding? He never got to see the ring that Ashton gave me on my hand. Lord, I acknowledge that you saved him and that you had your hand on him the whole time, but it still hurts and I still miss him. Maybe as the craziness of last year has faded it is now becoming more real to me that my dad is gone. My children will never know him. I never got to have that one last dance with him at my wedding. I don’t get to talk to him about Jesus and watch him grow in faith. He would have had so much fun at the wedding and the engagement party and the rehearsal dinner. He never got to see me in my wedding dress. I know that he would be so proud of me and I know that he is because he is in heaven looking down on me. But I never got to see the look of his face when he saw me being so happy with Ashton. He never got to hang out with Reed (my father in law) and talk about lawn work or cooking out. Haley’s future husband is not going to be able to ask him for her hand in marriage. It is not fair. This sucks so much. I keep on wanting to write down all of the details that surrounded his death but I am afraid. I want to run away. I don’t want to do anything because my dad suddenly died and I never got to say good-bye.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Ashton took my dad out to breakfast.He had a ring picked out for 6 weeks because he knew that he wanted to marry me.I had no idea.Someone had almost ruined it because they told me congratulations while we were out at brunch.They knew, but Ashton hadn’t asked me yet.Earlier that week, Ashton had set up a date for us on Saturday.Little did I know that he was going to ask me to be his wife.Anyway, Ashton had my ring with him and showed it to my dad as he asked him for my hand in marriage.Ashton said that my dad was overcome with emotions.He was so honored that Ashton had asked him.He said that he even teared up.Oh, how I wish I could have seen my dad’s face.I wish that I could hear him tell me how it happened. I always loved his stories.He had three daughters, but didn’t get to go to three weddings.Even if he didn’t get to see the wedding, he saw the ring and gave Ashton permission to marry me. He thought that it was very respectful of Ashton.He couldn’t be more proud.
Later that day, my dad talked to me.He didn’t mention a word of his meeting with Ashton on the phone.We just talked about life like we always do.He had recently accepted Jesus as his Savior that Easter and so he had a lot of questions.I was comforted that he was asking questions because he wanted to learn more about God’s plan for him.Praise God!He had been reading Rick Warren’s Purpose Driven Life.I would always ask him how far he had gotten.He would shrug it off and say that he flipped thorough it every once in a while.
“Daddy, its not that kind of book,” I said.“You are supposed to read one chapter per day so that you will understand God’s plan for your life.”
To this he remarked, “I already know what my purpose in life was. It was to raise three beautiful daughters.”
“No, that’s not it, Daddy,” I said.“You’re still alive.God isn’t done with you yet.”
The next day was Saturday--the day Ashton would ask me to be his wife with my dad’s blessing.When Ashton asked me I called my mom first, but then I called my dad.He was so happy for me.I loved hearing the love for us in his voice as he told me how glad he was.I was ecstatic!That was the last time I would talk to him.
Ashton and I went out of town to California for a Triathlon.I kept on thinking that I should call my dad and tell him how much fun we were having, but I never did.On May 6, 2008, Ashton and I were driving to the airport to fly back to Arlington.I was so excited that I was going to get to start planning my wedding!My mom called as we were driving.She was very upset and crying and said that my dad had been shot in an accident.I was shocked and confused.She said to just pray and then hung up.I told Ashton and immediately.I grabbed his hand and started praying.Tears were pouring down my face because I had heard the urgency and seriousness in my mom’s voice.I rarely heard her sound like that unless she was really scared.Afterwards, Ashton and I talked and I began to feel a little better, but I was so scared.I couldn’t stop my mind from going over possible situations.It must be a misunderstanding, but I still couldn’t get the sound of my mom’s panicked voice out of my head.As we were pulling in to gas up the rent-a-car before we returned it my sister Haley called.
She was crying and said, “Daddy’s dead. He’s dead.”
I lost it.I had never felt anything like it.I kept saying no, no, no as if I could stop it.
“He’s not going to walk you down the isle at your wedding,” she said.
“I know,” I said crying harder. Every muscle in my body was tense.I was kicking my legs and flailing around as I sobbed violently.I curled up in a little ball as best as I could because my heart hurt so badly.I couldn’t believe what had just happened to me.Ashton asked me if my dad was ok.
“He’s dead,” I said but I couldn’t believe what I had just spoken.My dad was dead.Just like that.Gone.
The next few hours were surreal.I went into the gas station bathroom and cried and screamed.We got back into the car and returned it.We went through airport security.Would these people know that my dad just died?I felt weak.It all was like a dream, yet I was awake.I sat and cried in the airport terminal.I immediately started writing what I would say at the funeral.I was so upset, but I couldn’t help but smile knowing that my dad was in heaven. He had been saved for 2 weeks when he died.
The wedding was in 3 months and the funeral was in 3 days.Funeral arrangements needed to be made.I couldn’t be upset and morn because we had to make decisions quickly.My mom helped so much, but I pretty much just shut down.Funeral.The get-together afterwards.I struggled to make sense of what had just happened.I kept on thinking that I needed to call my dad and say hi.Oh.He’s dead, I would remind myself.Over and over this happened.I would get excited about family functions coming up because I would get to see my dad.Other times, I would think that I saw him walking around.My heart would leap and then it would sink.He was dead.
My dreams weren’t much different.I would see him, but then he would disappear as if someone was playing a trick on me.I would see him and then I would remember that he was dead.When I looked again, he was gone.I wanted God to let me talk to him again in my dreams.
One night I got to.
He appeared like an angel and I knew that he was.He looked so young and healthy.I touched him and he was warm.I got to hug him.
“Daddy, how did you like your funeral?”
“It was really good, ya’ll did a good job.”
“Daddy, what is heaven like?Is there beautiful music everywhere you go?”
“Yeah, it’s nice.You know they were right about that no-pain thing.”
“And Daddy, I got my wedding dress.I want you to see me walk down the isle.I’m walking by myself, Daddy.”
“I will be there,” he said.
I had other dreams like these, but this one was a gift from God.My dad was going to be there at my wedding after all.He had told me himself.
IF YOU HAVE A FAMILY MEMBER WHO IS NOT SAVED, IT IS NOT TOO LATE! My dad was only saved for 2 weeks. Then he died. He had never had faith in Jesus and I KNOW that God was in control and saved my dad. Who would have known? And if that's not enough reason to believe that there is a God in Heaven who loves us and sent His Only Son to die for us then I don't know what is.
So I wish that I was one of those clever writers who wrote effortlessly in their blogs, profound truths and revelation. Oh well, for the time being it is going to have to be my insecurities and off the wall thoughts.
Its Saturday and I am claiming this day to enjoy to be me. So what if I don't look like someone else, act like someone else or write like someone else?! I am trying to love me as God made me. Last night I had a major meltdown and identity crisis. Let the truth be told, I was questioning my very salvation because I find myself having a hard time accepting God's grace with out trying to earn it. I am reading (several books, one of which is) Free to Be Me by Betty Robinson in which she writes about her life growing from fear to freedom. She too questioned her salvation because she had trouble enjoying a personal and intimate relationship with God. I share this with you because I have a hunch that I am not the only one who struggles to enjoy themselves as God made them. We are usually too hard on our selves and I think that is precisely what I have been doing the past few days. I have just been in a funk. :( Phooey. Anyways, I now have peace about my salvation, but I often get sick of God taking me the long way through everything. Like Joyce Meyers and the Israelites, I too end up going around the same stupid mountain over and over whining in the desert: What is taking so long?!?! Is it possible to be given a mature dose of patience with out actually growing in it the hard way? I will let you know if I figure it out. Until then, I came to the frustrating truth that I am stubborn and pig-headed and nothing comes easy to types like me. In other words, I am just going to have to trust as God sorts me out.
I know that I speak for others when I say that as God's people we always pray for God's will in our lives. And then we just wait for His will to be magically imposed on our lives. God is not an imposing God. His will for us is three fold: 1. be joyful always 2. pray continually 3. give thanks in all circumstances (1 Thes. 5:23). As I meditated on this verse, it occurred to me that all of these things depend on my attitude and what actions I am taking. God may choose us, but we have to make the choice for God's will to be first in our lives by doing these 3 things. God's will is not a big secret. It is for us to be happy. Just be joyful and live in peace with God and you will be living God's will for your life. It's crazy how complicated and spiritual we make God's will. I can be expecially legalistic about this. It makes me feel better, but then I also feel empty. I only feel whole when I am doing these three things. It's not rocket science-- It's God's grace. Amen!
I am just overflowing with thanks for all good gifts that God has been showering on me! Ashton and I were finally able to buy a new Chevy Traverse! Her name is Trudie the Traverse. Super cute. And if a beautiful new car weren't enough, I AM GETTING A KITTEN!!!! The reason that this is such a big deal is that previously our landlord would not allow us to get a pet because of the terrors that lived here before us. It is amazing what a little prayer, faith, patience and determination will get you! What better way then to spend this weekend than driving up to visit my mom and sisters in Arlington to pick up our first born kitty and show of my new wheels. What is craziest and most probable about all of these turn of events is that just last week I was spending some time with God and reading my inspirational devotional. The verse that I heard the Holy Spirit yelling loud and clear is: "My God will meet ALL your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus" (Phil. 4:19). This verse was so profound to me I texted it to many friends. Its a good thing that I am loud because I am so excited that God rewarded my faith! I am just wondering who else received a special blessing from that verse! There really is power in the Word! I know that, but somehow God always surprises me with how faithful he is. I am living proof that he truly gives you the desires of your heart when you delight in Him!
“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.”
Mother Theresa
We are not to own anything but responsibility.People do not belong to other people because we belong to God.Ownership places one being over another.When privilege is assigned to one and not the other, tension arises because of imbalance and because of tension, disunity results.Since unity and harmony are interchangeable, we must remember that we belong to each other to avoid the imbalance of ownership. I need you as much as you need me.We are one in the same.
Doesn't life sometimes get in the way of living? I often struggle with this because I would rather be doing anything other than what I am supposed to be doing. There is nothing like that strong desire to organize your closet or clean the house when there is a research paper to write. And what a great time to catch up with friends and family! I think that I will makeover my exercise routine. I'm going to spend time with God all day today. My car really needs to be washed.
I still haven't figured this out yet, but I attribute much of the problem to the "I don't want to" mentality. It doesn't matter what it is I should do-- "I don't want to." My rational side more than not wins and my creativity is stifled once again. Thus explains my love/ hate relationship with writing. I love to do it, but I hate to do it when I have to. Haven't I grown out of this yet?
Today is one of those days. I am not working today so that I can work on my research paper that is due next week. And to make matters better, the paper is on Wordsworth or Coleridge--the Romantic Giants in Poetry. Nothing could be better....
Except shopping. Or maybe starting a great non-school book. I could make a scrapbook. Or I still have that blank canvas upstairs waiting to be painted. It sure is a nice day for a walk. Maybe I can run errands for my husband...
Ever since I can remember I have written. Even before I did, I had a precious teacher named Mrs. Smith in Kindergarten who would transcribe my stories onto big sheets of paper that I would illustrate. The written word has fascinated me and as I grow older I realize how vital it is to my well-being. I think of women writers who had to fight to be able to educate themselves to read and write. Many times, an education was considered a decoration instead of a useful tool to promote real change in the lives of women. Over my years in college, most of my research papers have dealt with the topic of women writers. From Laura Certa, an Italian Renaissance writer from the 15th century, to Sor Juana a 17th century Nun, to Virginia Woolfe, Elizabeth Barrett Browning to poet Emily Dickinson to Maya Angelou to Helen Cixous, French feminist. Why did these women write as if their lifeblood flowed from the pen? What is it that women seek in writing that fulfills them like no other?
I have my ideas, but I want to hear yours. If you are a woman, why do you write? All women write--be it grocery lists, to do lists, birthday cards, poetry, essays, journals or novels. Why do you write?
Please comment with your answer. Thank you so much for participating! I am excited to see what you have to say.
Life is so amazing.Our individual lives are uniquely made up of family and loved ones, good times, bad times, hopes, dreams and wishes.Sometimes God grants us our prayers and sometimes he doesn’t.The best thing about life is that no matter what happens, God is in control.
“I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and to do good in one’s lifetime” (Ecl. 3:12).
Our job is not to worry or to get upset.God wants us to enjoy life (Joyce Meyer is great on this)!So many times, we get caught up in circumstances in our lives and we are like the rocky soil or among the soil with the thorns.
“In a similar way these are the ones on whom seed was sown on the rocky places, who, when they hear the word, immediately receive it with joy; and they have no firm root in themselves, but are only temporary; then, when affliction or persecution arises because of the word, immediately they fall away. "And others are the ones on whom seed was sown among the thorns; these are the ones who have heard the word, but the worries of the world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the desires for other things enter in and choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful. "And those are the ones on whom seed was sown on the good soil; and they hear the word and accept it and bear fruit, thirty, sixty, and a hundredfold." And He was saying to them, "A lamp is not brought to be put under a basket, is it, or under a bed? Is it not brought to be put on the lampstand?” (Mark 4:17-21).
Jesus is our light (John 8:12).He has overcome the world and since we believe in Jesus and are children of God we have too have overcome the world (John 16:33, 1 John 5:4-5).I believe that while Jesus is the light, we are the lampstand.He uses our circumstances to shed light on the truth.I don’t think that knowing the truth is the hard part.It is hard to accept the truth in our hearts so deeply that the thorns or hard times do not choke the fruit of God’s seed out of our lives.Now, if the truth is life, what is death?Jesus said, “Whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life” (John 5:24).Death is the opposite of life or truth.While there is one Death and one Truth, I believe that there are many deaths and therefore, many truths.Let me explain.
We are each called into a personal relationship with God through Jesus.If each of us is a unique individual part of the Body of Christ; our personal relationship with Jesus is just as unique as we are.God created us.He knows our inmost workings.Therefore, there are also many individual truths in our lives.Before my dad passed away, he said that his “greater truth” is that he has three daughters who pray for him.He had received salvation by asking Jesus to be Lord of his life before he died.Jesus was his Truth, but his personal truth that helped him through the hard times was that he had 3 daughters who loved him and prayed for him.
Our personal truths are those things that Jesus has made dear to our hearts so that we better understand the love that he has for us.Our personal truth is God’s gift to us that make each of us different.It is what makes us feel alive.There is always the Truth that Jesus is our salvation, but Jesus loves us so individually, we have personal truths that work like a knowing wink or understanding hug to encourage us when we are struggling.
I compare deaths to daily deaths to the flesh and struggles that we each go through every day. If we do not die to these hard times in the flesh then our spirit will die.Either way, there is death.Our personal deaths are our unique struggles that we endure and overcome during our walk with Jesus.They are our crosses to bear.If we die to the flesh then our cross is freedom in Jesus (Gal. 5:1), but if we die to the Spirit then we suffer death.
The following Scriptures have helped me understand what it is like to have a personal relationship with Jesus.
“I call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised,
And I am saved from my enemies.
The cords of death encompassed me,
And the torrents of ungodliness terrified me.
The cords of Sheol surrounded me;
The snares of death confronted me.
In my distress I called upon the LORD,
And cried to my God for help;
He heard my voice out of His temple,
And my cry for help before Him came into His ears” (Psalm 18:3-6 emphasis mine).
One day God showed to name my specific struggle in place of “Sheol.”It was very liberating to see that God cares about my personal struggles. These struggles may not mean much to others, but to God they are a matter of life and death.
The Easton’s Bible Dictionary defines Sheol as:"the all-demanding world, "the unknown region”, the invisible world of departed souls
This is also translated as as “Hell” which means:
(1.) Sheol, occurring in the Old Testament sixty-five times. This word sheol is derived from a root-word meaning "to ask," "demand;" hence insatiableness (Prov 30:15,16). It is rendered "grave" thirty-one times (Gen 37:35; 42:38; 44:29,31; 1 Sam 2:6, etc.). The Revisers have retained this rendering in the historical books with the original word in the margin, while in the poetical books they have reversed this rule.
In thirty-one cases in the Authorized Version this word is rendered "hell," the place of disembodied spirits. The inhabitants of sheol are "the congregation of the dead" (Prov 21:16). It is (a) the abode of the wicked (Num 16:33; Job 24:19; Ps 9:17; 31:17, etc.); (b) of the good (Ps 16:10; 30:3; 49:15; 86:13, etc.).
Sheol is described as deep (Job 11:8), dark (10:21,22), with bars (17:16). The dead "go down" to it (Num 16:30,33; Ezek 31:15,16,17).
(2.) The Greek word hades of the New Testament has the same scope of signification as
What has been your Sheol or your “personal hell”?Beth Moore’s wonderful book Get Out of that Pit discusses what a pit is like and how you know if you are in one.The definitions of Pit and Sheol are so similar, they can be interchangeable.Try it for yourself and insert your personal struggle in for “Sheol” everytime you see it in the Bible.It has really helped me know that God cares about my personal problems and that he hears my voice when the cords and snares of my struggles overwhelm me.
On the bright side, what are your personal truths that keep you running the race that you were called to run?Is it a bubble bath will always calm you down?Is it knowing that your mom is always ready to listen with a sympathetic ear?Is it how fresh you feel after worshiping God at church? Or is it that when you are around friends and family you know that you are loved?What ever “it” is--it helps me to see life as it really is-- family and loved ones, good times, bad times, hopes, dreams and wishes—and who is at the center of it—Jesus!
In my walk with Jesus, I have learned more and more to combat my anxiety by asking two simple questions and letting peace guide me in the direction of God's Will. The more I practice this the easier it gets. The trick is to do it immediately before you let your doubt and emotions get the best of you. When I am faced with some task that seems overwhelming I simply ask two questions: 1. Am I called to do this? 2. Will this help God's Kingdom? The reason behind this two part question is because I often feel like I don't do enough for God. During my quiet time this morning, I was going over God's amazing blessings and praising him for his answers to my prayers. I then heard the question: Why don't you act more like it? I immediately thought of sacrificing all of my time and going somewhere obsolete to spread my testimony to show God that I am grateful. I cringed at the thought of doing this and abandoning my life where it now is. I didn't want to do that. I sat and asked God why. I felt like he spoke to my heart and asked me if he had giving me the grace to do that.
No you haven't, God.
Now then. That was solved. I would let the written word travel for me.
I love to write and I was called to write. I think about all of the books I have read that have changed my life dramatically--either internally in my thoughts or emotions or externally in my relationships. I would be so blessed if I could write something that could deeply change a person for the better. So many people are hurting and they don't have any relief. They don't even know that relief is out there. My prayer is that God will give me the words to write so that souls may be healed--mine included. Surely God will use me.
