tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78501774470266447502024-03-13T13:25:50.653-07:00Waiting for my MuseThe Experimental Blog of an Aspiring WriterBrittanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13371658156077455330noreply@blogger.comBlogger54125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850177447026644750.post-47722537603212405322016-04-17T10:22:00.001-07:002016-04-17T10:41:25.256-07:00Boho Chic Bedroom MakeoverIt all started with the bedspread. <br />
<br />
I was looking for new brown and turquoise bedding to go with the painting above our bed. I was sick of the heavy brown duvet that we currently had that lived in a crumpled mess at the end of the bed under several layers of clothes. Luckily, I couldn't find any that were just right because then it dawned on me: Why was I creating the bedroom around the hand-me-down (albeit, beautiful) artwork when it didn't truly suit me and make me happy? I was continually drawn to colorful, vibrant bohemian inspired bedding, so why not completely redo the bedroom to suit this theme? <br />
<br />
I found this beautiful bedding from Bed Bath and Beyond:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Bhn0-FJMTiY/VxOeIW50IOI/AAAAAAAAAMI/4d5DQCf23to2HLLdbhxUx421YziuAmMbQCLcB/s1600/Boho%2Bchic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Bhn0-FJMTiY/VxOeIW50IOI/AAAAAAAAAMI/4d5DQCf23to2HLLdbhxUx421YziuAmMbQCLcB/s320/Boho%2Bchic.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
And so it began--and a Pinterest board was <a href="https://www.pinterest.com/bprejean29/boho-bedroom/" target="_blank">born</a>! <br />
<br />
I would love to say that this process was super fun and easy, but alas, nothing worth having comes easy. As I worked to redo the bedroom, I had to battle lies in my mind such as the following:<br />
<br />
Lie #1: I need to be content with what we have. The former bedding was very expensive from Crate and Barrel, and I didn't need anything else. <br />
<br />
Lie #2: It was selfish and foolish of me to use money to makeover my bedroom when there were other ways to spend it.<br />
<br />
Lie #3: Ultimately, I didn't "deserve" to have a nice bedroom of my (budget) dreams. <br />
<br />
Lie #4: Since my room was a failure and a mess, I was a failure and a mess. <br />
<br />
The TRUTH was that the rest of the house looked great. I'd worked diligently and intentionally to make our house a comfortable, attractive and organized home. <br />
<br />
The TRUTH was that I deserved a beautiful refuge that made me happy where I could read, rest, relax and… you know. <br />
<br />
The TRUTH was that I am an educated, vibrant, creative, fun, beautiful and capable adult woman who could makeover her bedroom if she darn-well pleased! <br />
<br />
So now the time has come. Every makeover has a set of dreaded "before" pictures. I am <strike>slightly</strike> extremely embarrassed to show you these, and I must beg your mercy. But I know the truth: All of you at least have one area of your home that resembles Monica's <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apvf4UihPd8" target="_blank">closet</a> from Friends. #dontjudge And if you don't, then why are you reading this? Don't you have something to go clean? ;)<br />
<br />
Sadly, this is how my bedroom looked for the majority of the time. It was brown, depressing and messy. As you can see there are signs of effort to make it look nice at some point, but it never felt like it was <i>my</i> bedroom. "Good enough" was the theme. I never made the bed because the duvet was so cumbersome and the pillows were so many. <br />
<br />
Our bedroom had become a hodgepodge of hand-me-downs (for which I am very grateful) and a graveyard for things in our home that didn't have a home. It was a sort of purgatory where things got shoved in the five minutes before company came over. Can I get an amen?! LOL!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JAmoDFydIkc/VxOixwCAzwI/AAAAAAAAAMo/jlch8yERknAeInD0trY1F0x9iN03paA6gCK4B/s1600/Image%2B14.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JAmoDFydIkc/VxOixwCAzwI/AAAAAAAAAMo/jlch8yERknAeInD0trY1F0x9iN03paA6gCK4B/s640/Image%2B14.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ekEyp3UlG30/VxOixOEWaLI/AAAAAAAAAMY/_H63rBtBAxAu54pUuvNI1jFzOqV8xPnKwCK4B/s1600/Image%2B13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ekEyp3UlG30/VxOixOEWaLI/AAAAAAAAAMY/_H63rBtBAxAu54pUuvNI1jFzOqV8xPnKwCK4B/s640/Image%2B13.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-AVj6X_SNAyk/VxOiyIy9CdI/AAAAAAAAAMw/iQEOAq3_SuMzjwrUatnOuDVgGNIWOky7ACK4B/s1600/Image%2B12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-AVj6X_SNAyk/VxOiyIy9CdI/AAAAAAAAAMw/iQEOAq3_SuMzjwrUatnOuDVgGNIWOky7ACK4B/s640/Image%2B12.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--1oK3jVUQRE/VxOixjomM1I/AAAAAAAAAMg/ba-td3j0Gzg2XEL_QrY59nOAbvb_5W5YACK4B/s1600/Image%2B11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/--1oK3jVUQRE/VxOixjomM1I/AAAAAAAAAMg/ba-td3j0Gzg2XEL_QrY59nOAbvb_5W5YACK4B/s640/Image%2B11.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
<br />
And here are the BEAUTIFUL and GLORIOUS "after" pictures:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-eYvzEXDkKZY/VxO0585WqyI/AAAAAAAAANI/0WMWFUSPFq8Rp6WR5w9udP1DiQAbocbjACK4B/s1600/Image%2B3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-eYvzEXDkKZY/VxO0585WqyI/AAAAAAAAANI/0WMWFUSPFq8Rp6WR5w9udP1DiQAbocbjACK4B/s640/Image%2B3.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I styled the dresser with a mirror we had from Crate and Barrel, lamp from At Home, box and candle from Home Goods, picture frames and greenery from Michaels. The decorative balls are from Kirklands.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-334tR1pOepU/VxO09In-ZWI/AAAAAAAAAOQ/7OLat10yd_k-QE_kuOuyF-leyRr-1XQsgCK4B/s1600/Image%2B10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-334tR1pOepU/VxO09In-ZWI/AAAAAAAAAOQ/7OLat10yd_k-QE_kuOuyF-leyRr-1XQsgCK4B/s640/Image%2B10.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I styled the book shelf with cute magazine holders, frames (which have photos from our wedding and five year anniversary when we renewed our vows in Vegas) and vase from Home Goods, and an ethnic looking chest from At Home.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-WMfDU_fIFVQ/VxO07r4InTI/AAAAAAAAANY/JhBbcT6nvDwBB7mYiTZOY9WMs4lwhZsWQCK4B/s1600/Image%2B6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-WMfDU_fIFVQ/VxO07r4InTI/AAAAAAAAANY/JhBbcT6nvDwBB7mYiTZOY9WMs4lwhZsWQCK4B/s640/Image%2B6.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
The heavy brown chest at the end of the bed was replaced with this beautiful grey one from Home Goods. The large artwork was a steal on clearance for $6 at Big Lots. I got the smaller art from Target. And of course there is the gorgeous bedding from Bed Bath and Beyond styled with pillows from At Home. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zgEizp7UZsM/VxO07lHBXDI/AAAAAAAAANo/p21oTj88bkkN8PVcLt2pos3AtraZGv8eQCK4B/s1600/Image%2B4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zgEizp7UZsM/VxO07lHBXDI/AAAAAAAAANo/p21oTj88bkkN8PVcLt2pos3AtraZGv8eQCK4B/s640/Image%2B4.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
My desk was finally neat, tidy and nice-looking. I had everything except for the yellow vase that I got at Michaels. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-j62My45Ssyg/VxO07pjZQhI/AAAAAAAAANk/HAl-YeS9I_k3B6vsd2cUcQMyNhMf6uqQQCK4B/s1600/Image%2B2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-j62My45Ssyg/VxO07pjZQhI/AAAAAAAAANk/HAl-YeS9I_k3B6vsd2cUcQMyNhMf6uqQQCK4B/s640/Image%2B2.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
The other small artwork is also from Target. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BPi3fj49wT0/VxO05LKZ24I/AAAAAAAAANA/ceU7ggr7j8kg9aC_ekv-XEIiL4yiy0_6ACK4B/s1600/Image%2B1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BPi3fj49wT0/VxO05LKZ24I/AAAAAAAAANA/ceU7ggr7j8kg9aC_ekv-XEIiL4yiy0_6ACK4B/s640/Image%2B1.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
The night tables proved to be the most difficult to get "just right," but I found these on Amazon and replaced the knobs with cute ones from World Market. They are perfect! </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-nK8iC5CiLv8/VxO06LCGtkI/AAAAAAAAANQ/oCNKK9qi9p0QQiuYbeNkrMNne9mogSpcACK4B/s1600/Image.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-nK8iC5CiLv8/VxO06LCGtkI/AAAAAAAAANQ/oCNKK9qi9p0QQiuYbeNkrMNne9mogSpcACK4B/s640/Image.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
And I finally had a cute sitting area! The chair and curtains are from World Market, the pillow is from At Home and the table is from Home Goods. </div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yGKipwmbCEM/VxO084fg5hI/AAAAAAAAAOE/UMsfp4nlgZcjbVO2r3zghaiwws8Z1uWgQCK4B/s1600/Image%2B9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /><img border="0" height="480" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yGKipwmbCEM/VxO084fg5hI/AAAAAAAAAOE/UMsfp4nlgZcjbVO2r3zghaiwws8Z1uWgQCK4B/s640/Image%2B9.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yGKipwmbCEM/VxO084fg5hI/AAAAAAAAAOE/UMsfp4nlgZcjbVO2r3zghaiwws8Z1uWgQCK4B/s1600/Image%2B9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><br /></a><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--HlPmM9A6DA/VxO0839XBXI/AAAAAAAAAOM/X5r-FyyyYpcUDfHzALTGt425G4g0m1kNQCK4B/s1600/Image%2B8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/--HlPmM9A6DA/VxO0839XBXI/AAAAAAAAAOM/X5r-FyyyYpcUDfHzALTGt425G4g0m1kNQCK4B/s640/Image%2B8.jpg" width="640" /></a><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yGKipwmbCEM/VxO084fg5hI/AAAAAAAAAOE/UMsfp4nlgZcjbVO2r3zghaiwws8Z1uWgQCK4B/s1600/Image%2B9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><br /></a><br />
<br />
I absolutely love the finished product! It is exactly what I wanted, and I couldn't be prouder. It is so much easier to keep the bed made and the room free of clutter now. I often find myself sitting in bed at night smiling as I look around at my beautiful made-over bedroom. My mood is instantly lifted when I am in the room now. It is so peaceful and comforting to be surrounded by beautiful things that say: Brittany. <br />
<br />
And I saved the best part for last:<br />
<br />
Long after the things in this room are put in the trash or passed on, what I learned about God while giving my bedroom a boho chic makeover will last forever.<br />
<br />
I learned that God is a good, good father. <br />
<br />
He cares about the things that we care about. He wants to make us happy by giving us things that bring us pleasure no matter how small they might seem. We actually didn't have the money to allow me makeover my bedroom due to unexpected medical bills and other expenses that came up that month.<br />
<br />
But God….<br />
<br />
The day that my husband, Ashton was going to have to tell me that we would have to put off the bedroom project due to lack of finances, a rather large, unexpected check arrived in the mail minutes before he planned to tell me. I believe that because we are faithful and tithe, God protects our finances and provides everything that we need. The Bible says that if we delight ourselves in God, He will give us the desires of our hearts (Psalm 37:4) and God knows how to give good gifts to his children (Matthew 7:11). He knew that the desire of my heart was to have a beautiful place I could call my own and He provided the means to do so! <br />
<br />
A little while after my room was complete, I was doing my quiet time with God and I prayed that He would give me His perspective of my life and of me. I felt that He said, "Look around you. Look at the bedroom that you made look so beautiful. I created you with a gift to make things better--to make them beautiful." <br />
<br />
I just love the heart of our Father God. In my bedroom project, God gave me both what I wanted and what I needed. I wanted to give my bedroom a super-cute makeover, but what I needed even more was to see that God created this desire within me, and that He cares about me enough to give it to me--exceedingly, abundantly more than anything I could ask or think (Ephesians 3:20). Brittanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13371658156077455330noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850177447026644750.post-53115944566841936442016-04-09T11:16:00.002-07:002016-04-09T11:17:35.925-07:00God, Help Me to Be a Good Mother <div class="MsoNormal">
Lord, I need your peace, comfort and strength to be a <s><span style="color: black;">good</span></s> mother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That was my prayer as I began to journal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And as I got the word “good,” I stopped
dead in my tracks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was reminded
of this scripture:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Once
a religious leader asked Jesus this question: “Good Teacher, what should I do
to inherit eternal life?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Why do
you call me good?” Jesus asked him. “Only God is truly good</i> (Luke 18:19
NLT). </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If Jesus didn’t even consider himself good (even though he
was perfect), what sense does it make for me to try and be a “good”
mother?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Actually, let me be
honest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want to be a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">perfect</i> mother. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I want to always respond to my children in a calm and loving
manner, taking every opportunity to patiently teach them and train them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I don’t explain something with the
utmost grace and gentleness, I feel incredible shame and guilt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God forbid I snap and yell or
threaten to spank their butt [and do it] or take away all her toys [and do it]
if she can’t stop throwing them all in the floor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I want to always engage with them or lead them into
independent play, so that mommy can get something done. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every time I turn on Netflix, I shutter
with disgust and thus begin the relentless accusations about my laziness as a
mother and how my children’s brains are rotting as they spend more time in
front of a screen.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I want to always make sure my children eat healthy foods and
try new foods out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To do this I
[try to] limit sugar and processed snacks like Goldfish.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it never fails, and out come the
Goldfish as I vow to never buy more once they run out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then I do, of course, the next time
I am at the grocery store.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I want to always take time to enjoy my daughter’s expert
stalling techniques before bed instead of rushing through the bedtime story just
so I can climb into bed and escape into my novel for a while.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I used to think that I was a bad mother if I gave my baby
formula or any non-organic food of any kind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then I came to the realization that bad mothers don’t feed
their children at all; good mothers do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My simple desire to be a good mother made me a good mother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After all, I loved her extravagantly,
clothed her, fed her and protected her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes, this is all still true, but God is taking me to a
deeper level of understanding what it is to be a mother and how to surrender to
motherhood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Some synonyms for the word mother are: look after, care for,
protect, nurse, tend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do all of
those things and much more for my children, so why am I praying for God to help
me to be a “good” mother?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have
already established that I am a good mother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is not debating that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would say that I love my children more than any other
mother ever has loved their children, but then again all mothers feel that
way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As with everything in life the answer to our problems is
because we believe a lie in place of the truth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Whether it is the world of social media that we live in or
listening to the opinions and judgments of others, we are believing a lie in
some way or another.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The father of
all lies is Satan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we even
engage in a conversation with him or listen to those thoughts that sound like
us or someone we know (when they do in fact belong to Satan), we have already
lost.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But when those thoughts
come, and we refuse them and cling to the truth—that we are dearly loved and
chosen, that we can do all things through Christ, that God’s plans for us are
for good, we win.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">Satan can even sneak into the motives behind our prayers like he did for me with out me even realizing it. After all, it is a noble and honorable thing to ask for God's help to be a good mother. But, I needed a shift in perspective to truly release me to experience freedom and God's goodness. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Template>Normal.dotm</o:Template>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>555</o:Words>
<o:Characters>3164</o:Characters>
<o:Company>Texas State University</o:Company>
<o:Lines>26</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>6</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>3885</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>12.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves>false</w:TrackMoves>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>
<w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>
<w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:DontAutofitConstrainedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
</w:Compatibility>
</w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="276">
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now, instead of praying for God’s peace, comfort and
strength to be a good mother, I will pray simply for more of God’s Spirit for
my current assignment which is to be mother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> T</span>o quote Chris Tomlin’s song, He truly is a good,
good father and I’m loved by Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My quest should not about being a good mother, but rather about resting in
my identity as a beloved daughter of the Most High God who happens to be chosen to mother two of his other precious daughters.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
God, thank you that I am a simply a mother to two of the most beautiful, sweet and incredible girls. You are good. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
Brittanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13371658156077455330noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850177447026644750.post-86329211345042286552014-09-06T06:33:00.000-07:002014-09-06T06:34:43.913-07:00You Are Not Who You Currently Are<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
God, help me to get my eyes off of myself and on the
cross.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What does that even
mean?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It means to trust that Jesus
died for <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">me.</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While I was a sinner, he died.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did nothing to earn or deserve
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nor can I do anything to earn
or deserve his grace and mercy and love today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am free.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The
cross summed up in one word is freedom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It was because of love that God sent his only son to die. But to me,
freedom is the manifestation of that love in my life: Freedom from sin and its
consequences.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Freedom from my own
negative thoughts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Freedom to be
who God created me to be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Freedom
from condemnation when I fall short, which I always will.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not a picture perfect model.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not a perfect clean house.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not a perfect mom or wife.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My kid may throw fits, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I may overreact with my husband, and I
may berate myself in my thoughts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>None of that matters because it doesn’t really matter when compared to
the infinite value of knowing Jesus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He offers me freedom from those things so that I can enjoy my life. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Life may be messy, but I am not a mess.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jesus is bigger than your current
reality.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m going to say that again:
Jesus is bigger than your current reality.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All of those things that we hate in our lives and about
ourselves fade away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jesus and the
cross eclipse them so they can not be seen when you take your eyes off of
yourself and look to the cross.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They
may never go away while we are on this earth because we live in a fallen world,
in broken bodies, but one thing that is true is that the imperfect will fade
away when the Perfect comes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jesus
is perfect.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So stop trying to be
perfect.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stop beating yourself up
for not being perfect.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stop
analyzing everything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stop seeing
yourself from other’s judging eyes and start seeing yourself as God sees
you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When you look in a broken
mirror the image reflected back is broken as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stop looking in a broken mirror to tell you who you
are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Start looking to God who is
the perfect reflection to tell you who you are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You are not who you currently are. Let that sink in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You are not who you currently are. So stop looking at yourself and start looking to the cross. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Christ arrives right
on time to make this happen. He didn’t, and doesn’t, wait for us to get ready.
He presented himself for this sacrificial death when we were far too weak and
rebellious to do anything to get ourselves ready. And even if we hadn’t been so
weak, we wouldn’t have known what to do anyway. We can understand someone dying
for a person worth dying for, and we can understand how someone good and noble
could inspire us to selfless sacrifice. But God put his love on the line for us
by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to
him (Romans 5:6-8 MSG). <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">We do this by keeping
our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because
of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he
is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. Think of all the hostility
he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up (Hebrews
12:2-3 NLT). <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">So Christ has truly
set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don’t get tied up again in
slavery to the law (Gal. 5:1 NLT).<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">For God so loved the
world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not
perish but have eternal life (John 3:16 NIV). <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">But when completeness
comes, what is in part disappears… now we see only a reflection as in a mirror;
then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully,
even as I am fully known (1 Corinthians 13:10,12 NIV).<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">For everyone has
sinned; we all fall short of God's glorious standard (Romans 3:23 NLT). <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Template>Normal.dotm</o:Template>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>600</o:Words>
<o:Characters>3423</o:Characters>
<o:Company>Texas State University</o:Company>
<o:Lines>28</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>6</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>4203</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>12.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves>false</w:TrackMoves>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>
<w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>
<w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:DontAutofitConstrainedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
</w:Compatibility>
</w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="276">
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Yes, furthermore, I
count everything as loss compared to the possession of the priceless privilege
(the overwhelming preciousness, the surpassing worth, and supreme advantage) of
knowing Christ Jesus my Lord and of progressively becoming more deeply and
intimately acquainted with Him [of perceiving and recognizing and understanding
Him more fully and clearly]. For His sake I have lost everything and consider
it all to be mere rubbish (refuse, dregs), in order that I may win (gain)
Christ (the Anointed One) (Philippians 3:8 AMP). <o:p></o:p></i></div>
Brittanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13371658156077455330noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850177447026644750.post-66789968132718337162013-01-09T18:40:00.001-08:002013-01-09T18:42:01.494-08:00Psalm 139<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Template>Normal.dotm</o:Template>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>876</o:Words>
<o:Characters>4998</o:Characters>
<o:Company>Texas State University</o:Company>
<o:Lines>41</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>9</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>6137</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>12.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves>false</w:TrackMoves>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>
<w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>
<w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:DontAutofitConstrainedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
</w:Compatibility>
</w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="276">
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Last night I read Psalm 139 in a new way. I deeply thought about the truth of how God feels about me, and God's love and acceptance washed over me like never before. For the first time, I think, I truly felt His love. Today, I personalized the psalm in first person. My thoughts and confessions are below in between the verses of the psalm, which is in italics. I hope and pray that it blesses you as much as God has blessed me in doing it. Oh how he loves us! Oh how he loves ME! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>1 O Lord, you have
examined my heart and know everything about me.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
I am known because I am important
and you care about me. You haven’t
forgotten me or ignored me. In
fact, you know me better than anyone!
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>2 You know when I sit
down or stand up. You
know my thoughts even when I’m far away..<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
You care about every little and
seemingly insignificant part of my day.
You understand my emotions—even when I don’t. You know my deepest
desires, regardless of my actions.
No matter where I am in life, if I am close to you in obedience or far
away in stubborn, selfish disobedience, I am still your daughter and you care
about what I am thinking about, good or bad. Even when I am far from you due to
my own choices, you know and care about what I am worrying about.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i> (3 You scrutinize my path and my lying
down, And are intimately acquainted with all my ways. NASB)<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
You get me! You not only get me, but you pay especially
close attention to where I am going in life—even if it seems to me I am going
nowhere. You know all my
struggles, quirks, challenges, hang-ups, and disappointments, but you also know
my dreams, hopes, loves and desires.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i> </i> <i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>4 You know what I
am going to say even before I say it, Lord. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
You know me so well you complete my
sentences! You help me use self-control
to only use my words to build up instead of tearing down. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>5 You go before
me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my
head. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
You lead me and guide me. But even when I get out in front of you
and try to do things my way, you follow me to guide me back on track so that
you can bless me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>6 Such knowledge
is too wonderful for me, too great for me to
understand!<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
Your ways are far above my
ways. There is no way I can figure
out what you know and how you know it and how you work in my life—so I
shouldn’t even try. I just need to
trust you and stand in awe of your ways.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>7 I can never
escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your
presence!</i> <i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>8 If I go up to
heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave,[a]
you are there.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>9 If I ride the
wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest
oceans,<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>10 even there
your hand will guide me, and your strength will support
me.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
You are everywhere I go because you
are a part of me and I am a part of you.
Even if I am feeling weak and like a failure, and I make my life in a
dark pit I created, you follow me there to give me strength and bring me
home. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>(11 If I say,
“Surely the darkness will overwhelm me. And the light around me will be
night, NASB) <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>12 but even
in darkness I cannot hide from you. To you the night shines as bright as
day. Darkness and light are the same to you.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
I get so overwhelmed with my
problems and circumstances, I feel like they will surely consume me. I feel like the light you have called
me to be no longer shines and a shadow is cast by my life instead, leaving me
to a joyless existence. But no
matter helpless I feel you are not overwhelmed by my problems and
uncertainties. You will find me in
the depths of darkness and depression and help me shine my light again. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>13 You made all
the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me
together in my mother’s womb.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
You made every part of me
special—my personality, my heart, my emotions. You created me to be good. There isn’t one single thing wrong with me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>14 Thank you for
making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is
marvelous—how well I know it.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
I am the way I am because you made
me that way! I’m thankful that I
am so complex and passionate. Who
wants a robot!? Everything that
you make is good, especially me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>15 You watched me
as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was
woven together in the dark of the womb.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>16 You saw me
before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in
your book. Every moment was laid out before a single
day had passed.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
When I was all alone being made in
the darkness of my mother’s womb, you were there delighting in how wonderfully
I was coming together. You’ve designed every part of me and my life to be good
for me. Nothing that I’ve done in
life has surprised you or disappointed you because you knew it would
happen. You’ve been in control all
along! And you always will. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>17 How precious
are your thoughts about me,[b] O God. They cannot be
numbered!<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>18 I can’t even
count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when
I wake up, you are still with me!<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
You think about me constantly. You can’t get me out of your mind. Everything that you do, you do for me
because you are thinking about me.
Nothing else even compares to how much you think of me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>19 O God, if only
you would destroy the wicked! Get out of my life, you
murderers!<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>20 They blaspheme
you; your enemies misuse your name.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>21 O Lord,
shouldn’t I hate those who hate you? Shouldn’t I
despise those who oppose you?<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>22 Yes, I hate
them with total hatred, for your enemies are my
enemies.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
There’s an enemy out there after my
soul because he hates how much you love me and bless me. He wants to kill every good thing
that you’ve created in me. He lies
to me about myself, my life and you.
I hate the devil and his lies and everything he stands for. I will wage war against the lies, God,
but I need your help. Please
rescue your daughter from his evil plans.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>23 Search me, O
God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious
thoughts.</i> <i><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>24 Point out
anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the
path of everlasting life.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
Look deep into my being and calm my
anxieties, fears, insecurities and doubts—the things that hurt too bad to even
mention, things so deep that I don’t understand. Show me where I do not trust you. Show me what lies I believe about myself and about you. Show me the parts of my flesh that you
never intended on being there, so I can repent and be as pure as the day you
created me. Gently hold my hand
and guide me back to the blessed life you created me to live. Restore me back to your love. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
(Psalm 139 NLT, unless otherwise noted)</div>
<!--EndFragment-->Brittanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13371658156077455330noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850177447026644750.post-57242956945884891632013-01-07T10:33:00.000-08:002013-01-07T10:47:51.890-08:00The Day Noelle was Born <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Template>Normal.dotm</o:Template>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>1691</o:Words>
<o:Characters>9643</o:Characters>
<o:Company>Texas State University</o:Company>
<o:Lines>80</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>19</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>11842</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>12.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves>false</w:TrackMoves>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>
<w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>
<w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:DontAutofitConstrainedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
</w:Compatibility>
</w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="276">
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had just got done working a very long week of teacher in
service. I didn’t do much but sit,
but it was a big change from taking it easy at the house all summer, sleeping
in, taking naps and cooling off in the pool. It was the end of my 35<sup>th</sup> week of pregnancy. I was in so much pain—my lower back,
hips, and abdomen. I’d resorted to
using a heating pad in August in Texas if that tell you how desperate I
was. Friday finally came and I was
so glad to have the weekend ahead of me to rest and get stuff ready for the
baby. I still needed to pack the
hospital bag and go to the store to get the remaining things I needed. I even
had a massage scheduled on Saturday!
This was going to be a productive and restful weekend! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But God had other plans…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Friday night at midnight I woke up to my water breaking, but
I was one of those women who for some reason didn’t realize it. I was currently getting up at least 3
times during the night to pee so I thought that I might have peed on myself
because Noelle was right on my bladder.
I went to the bathroom, but it kept on coming out at so I just tucked a
wash cloth in my panties and tried to go back to sleep. I didn’t think I could be truly going
into labor because I was barely 36 weeks, my bag wasn’t packed, and I didn’t
have any contractions. I did have
cramps, but I’d been having all sorts of pain down there so I just took some
Tylenol, not thinking anything about it.
Furthermore, I didn’t want to go to the hospital! This could not be it!! All I wanted to do was sleep. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But first I did what any normal person would do. I had to google it. All I got was a confusing bunch of
responses on how to tell if it was truly your water breaking. Typical. After googling something, I am only more lost. Finally, I woke up Ashton. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I think that my water broke, but I don’t have any
contractions,” I said.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No, I don’t think that’s what it is. It’s this other thing that the Prepared
Childbirth class told us about that you’d think is your water breaking,” Ashton
said. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I don’t remember, but I guess that you’re right,” I said,
thinking that I haven’t been able to remember anything in quite some time. Surely he has more of a brain than me
at this point. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We prayed together and went back to sleep. It was pretty frustrating trying to
sleep with all of this fluid gushing out of me, so I kept on having to change
out the washcloths. (Stupid? Yes. But don’t judge.
At least I wasn’t one of those girls you hear about who give birth and
didn’t even know they were pregnant! Sorry if one of those girls is reading
this. But seriously, you didn’t
even know you were pregnant?!)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the morning Ashton got up to run and I stayed in bed to
sleep in. Ashton came back in to
tell me that he’d talked with his friend, Brandon on his run who’d confirmed
that his wife had the same thing happen, but it wasn’t her water. They had diagnosed me. I was definitely not in labor. Hmmm, I thought. That’s weird. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ashton left again to take Nola for a walk and I got up out of
bed to call the doctor’s office just for a piece of mind so that they could
tell me about this mysterious other thing that happens that is exactly like
your water breaking but isn’t. I
told them what had happened and they said to go to Triage at the Hospital
immediately. I was going to have a baby today. My stomach tightened and my chest got
heavy. Oh. My. Gosh. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ll never forget the emotions that swept over me. I was half doubting, half scared and
half excited. Would this really be
the day that I gave birth? Will they just send me back home? It was
not like I’d planned at all. I
didn’t even feel any contractions! I called Ashton to come back home and said we had to go to
the hospital. I called my mom and
told her that we were going to the hospital and she said she’d meet us
there. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I started crying as the emotions overwhelmed me. I couldn’t think. I tried to start packing my bag and
went into the bathroom to straighten my bangs. I was actually about to put on some makeup. Ashton came in. “What are you doing?” he said. “I will straighten my bangs,” I said,
daring him to try and stop me.
“And my bag’s not ready.”
“We’ll come back for it,” he said.
“Ok, let’s go,” I said.
“Just let me straighten my bangs first.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We got in the car.
Why was he driving so slow?
I started to get angry and worried that we’d waited so long. I was hoping and praying that Noelle was still
ok. Did she have enough fluid
still in there to keep her alive? I
could still feel her move, so that gave me some peace. My sisters were texting how excited
they were. I texted back, not to
get too excited yet. This wasn’t
it. It couldn’t be. I just knew they’d send me back
home. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We finally made it to the hospital and I calmly walked into
Triage and told them that I think my water broke. I filled out some paper work and changed into my gown.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After my exam they confirmed that my water had broken. I will not cry, I thought to
myself. I will not cry. I will cry. And I did. Oh wow. I’m about to have my baby. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I guess I was going to have to call and cancel my massage
today after all. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I got to my room, we started talking about pain medicine.
I was only dilated a little bit,
not even a centimeter yet. They
were worried about infection since my water had broken so long ago. It had been 9 or 10 hours at this
point, and I wasn’t dilating so they were going to give me pitocin to speed
things up. They asked if I was
getting an epidural. I said yes,
but not right now. They told me
that the pitocin would really get my contractions going and if I was going to
get one, I’d better go ahead. Oh
no, I thought. This was one of the
other things I’d googled a lot. I
was afraid that getting an epidural too soon would stall the labor. I thought I wouldn’t be able to
push. Frankly at this point I was
more concerned that I couldn’t eat anything all day. Oh well. Let’s do this.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I ended up getting the epidural right away since they
assured me it wouldn’t slow down labor because of the pitocin— and I didn’t want
to feel those contractions! Right
then all I felt was moderate cramps.
And that’s basically the most I felt as far as pain is concerned. So if you are going to get an epidural,
but have any reservations about getting it too early, don’t. It’s pure heaven. And if I wasn’t already married, I probably
would have tried to marry the anesthesiologist. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Finally at 4:00, I was ready to push. Luckily, I could feel the contractions,
but not the pain, so I knew when to push.
I was so thirsty, but barely had time between pushing to munch down a
piece of ice that Ashton gave me. I
kept thinking, how is this supposed to even happen? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After 30 minutes of pushing, Noelle was born. I will never forget how wonderful that
felt—what a relief and release! I
instantly started to cry. My baby
was here! They laid her on me and
I didn’t even care that she was all messy. I kissed her so many times and kept exclaiming, “You’re
perfect, you’re so perfect!” My
baby angel girl had arrived!
Noelle Celeste Prejean, 6 lbs. 7 oz. 18 ½ in, was born at 4:29 P.M. on
August 18, 2012. Our lives will
never be the same! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Things started to die down and I was finally able to eat. They had taken Noelle to the nursery and
I was the only one in the room as I ate—just me and my thoughts. It was so peaceful and I was so
happy. Did this all really just happen? It was all so surreal.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I finally got moved to my recovery room, but they still had
Noelle in the nursery. She had
some fluid in her lungs and were keeping her in there for a while for X-rays
and exams. Finally after 9 P.M.
they brought her to my room. After I got to see my baby again, it felt like all
was right in the world. They kept
her in the nursery over night for observation because she was making a grunting
noise and because she was a late preterm baby. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was so exhausted, I barely remember the rest of the
night. I had to ask Ashton if they
even brought her to me to breastfeed. Which they did, I was just so tired I couldn’t remember. At that point, deciding to sleep for 8
more hours instead of going into the hospital at midnight when my water broke
seemed like a pretty good decision.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The next morning, they brought her to me, and I got to keep
her in my room. We were finally
able to bond! We cuddled and
practiced breastfeeding. I was
able to care for her all on my own!
She slept the night in my room and I enjoyed every bit of waking up to
feed her. It was just her and me…and
Ashton asleep on the couch <span style="font-family: Wingdings;">:)</span>. I loved watching her sleep on me—a
perfect angel. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The next day, the nursery nurse came in. I couldn’t wait
to tell her how good she was doing.
She had other news to give.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They were taking my baby to NICU. Her blood sugar was low and she was still grunting. They were worried about an
infection. I could feel the hot
tears begin to form in my eyes as my nose burned. My heart had been broken. “Do you have to take her now?” I asked. She said yes. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I had been so glad that even with
Noelle being born 4 weeks early, she was healthy enough to go to the regular
nursery instead of NICU at first. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Having to give my baby up like that after we had spent time
loving on each other was terrible.
I know that this was what was best for her, but it tore me up. I held it together for a little while,
but after the nurse wheeled my precious Noelle out the door, I lost it and just
wept. I felt so empty—so
helpless. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I went to NICU every 3 hours to visit Noelle and spent at
least 2 hours in there, feeding, pumping, changing, holding. . .wishing,
praying. I’d go back to my room for
a short time to rest and then go back.
I was exhausted. I was
tortured. I lay in bed and looked
at the pictures I had of her from that day when we bonded. I cried all night that night. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The 24 hours that Noelle was in NICU was the longest and
some of the most horrible moments of my life. I know that other parents have babies in there for weeks and
have to go home with out them. I
don’t know how they do it. I hated
seeing my baby hooked up with all of those wires. I hated having to leave my room to go down there to see her
and feed her. The worst part was feeling
like my baby wasn’t my baby at all.
I couldn’t wait to go home with her. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After 4 days in the hospital, we could both go home! Noelle ended up not having an
infection, but I’m glad that we took the precautions. The day she was born was probably the best day of my life,
but the day we went home would be a close second. This is where our story would truly begin. We would start this amazing journey together
as mother and daughter! The gift
I’d always wanted. God has truly
given me the desire of my heart. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Noelle, you amaze me.
You are such a sweet angel.
Everyone says how beautiful you are and what a doll you are. They’re right. But you are so much more. You’ve stolen my heart and I’ll never
be the same. You’ve come so far
and learned so much in such a brief period of time. You’ve taught me so much too—like how to be patient when you
need me in the middle of the night--again. Even though it’s hard to lose so much sleep, I treasure
holding you and comforting you back to sleep. I will never stop loving you or praying for you. I can’t wait until I can braid your
hair and paint your nails. I’m
going to love playing dress up with you, going shopping with you and teaching
you all about style. It’s going to
be great when you and I can talk and talk for hours about anything. I am honored to be your mommy, Noelle. I love you more than words can say…more
than you’ll ever know. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-WjJcqgaRpkU/UOsRIMxefBI/AAAAAAAAAIY/0YsJLJlAbdg/s1600/DSCN0916.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-WjJcqgaRpkU/UOsRIMxefBI/AAAAAAAAAIY/0YsJLJlAbdg/s320/DSCN0916.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Getting ready to have a baby!!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-FhLR4NfPq1M/UOsRh_vv-YI/AAAAAAAAAIs/Kiup4r0fUWc/s1600/DSCN0920.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-FhLR4NfPq1M/UOsRh_vv-YI/AAAAAAAAAIs/Kiup4r0fUWc/s320/DSCN0920.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Presenting Noelle Celeste Prejean! </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-I-vHC-yQxzM/UOsRCqINBvI/AAAAAAAAAII/CSAxixkoYyU/s1600/DSC00163.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><br /></div>
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-I-vHC-yQxzM/UOsRCqINBvI/AAAAAAAAAII/CSAxixkoYyU/s1600/DSC00163.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jSoBcAnMqQU/UOsRau6pQKI/AAAAAAAAAIg/dJVUrabjM4k/s1600/DSCN0921.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jSoBcAnMqQU/UOsRau6pQKI/AAAAAAAAAIg/dJVUrabjM4k/s320/DSCN0921.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Perfection! </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-NaxbiC57I8U/UOsRhSD59rI/AAAAAAAAAIo/tpjCBLOnTn8/s1600/DSCN0923.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-NaxbiC57I8U/UOsRhSD59rI/AAAAAAAAAIo/tpjCBLOnTn8/s320/DSCN0923.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Love at first sight! </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-uaOqsyNjCbs/UOsRtnmMrAI/AAAAAAAAAI4/LsyVXU5bCMQ/s1600/DSCN0930.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-uaOqsyNjCbs/UOsRtnmMrAI/AAAAAAAAAI4/LsyVXU5bCMQ/s320/DSCN0930.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Proud parents </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nv1FNwxQpU8/UOsR1sfrwgI/AAAAAAAAAJI/Uic1Y_ZTfv0/s1600/DSCN0938.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nv1FNwxQpU8/UOsR1sfrwgI/AAAAAAAAAJI/Uic1Y_ZTfv0/s320/DSCN0938.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I can't stop looking at this angel! </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TmNpGUqE224/UOsR05v9X0I/AAAAAAAAAJA/qsHumUSZY-U/s1600/P1020851.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TmNpGUqE224/UOsR05v9X0I/AAAAAAAAAJA/qsHumUSZY-U/s320/P1020851.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Taking it all in</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-g9KtUnsPpbc/UOsR-TjxrnI/AAAAAAAAAJY/TXfaOBuUeJ8/s1600/P1020852.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-g9KtUnsPpbc/UOsR-TjxrnI/AAAAAAAAAJY/TXfaOBuUeJ8/s320/P1020852.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I love my mommy's kisses! </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-q-vWAGQTWOM/UOsSBq60FMI/AAAAAAAAAJg/00VRorWP5aM/s1600/P1020853.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-q-vWAGQTWOM/UOsSBq60FMI/AAAAAAAAAJg/00VRorWP5aM/s320/P1020853.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sleeping Angel</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ouq_q2wx9QE/UOsR5tfw3CI/AAAAAAAAAJQ/brwggpWhsts/s1600/DSCN0933.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ouq_q2wx9QE/UOsR5tfw3CI/AAAAAAAAAJQ/brwggpWhsts/s320/DSCN0933.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cuddle time </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-XHJbvKS1jHQ/UOsRC7hVbPI/AAAAAAAAAIM/v4xtf1DIduw/s1600/DSC00171.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-XHJbvKS1jHQ/UOsRC7hVbPI/AAAAAAAAAIM/v4xtf1DIduw/s320/DSC00171.JPG" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">About to go HOME!!!!!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Brittanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13371658156077455330noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850177447026644750.post-13706168545978353432012-12-31T09:40:00.001-08:002012-12-31T09:41:17.414-08:00My New Year's Resolution for 2013<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Template>Normal.dotm</o:Template>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>294</o:Words>
<o:Characters>1677</o:Characters>
<o:Company>Texas State University</o:Company>
<o:Lines>13</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>3</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>2059</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>12.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves>false</w:TrackMoves>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>
<w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>
<w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:DontAutofitConstrainedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
</w:Compatibility>
</w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="276">
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast;
mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria;
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
As this year
draws to a close, we are all thinking about the past year—about our sorrows:
the things we’d like to do differently and about our joys: the things that made
the year worth living. We talk
about New Years Resolutions because we believe in fresh starts. We believe that God makes all things
new (Rev. 21:5). </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But why is it that we
think that after a certain year or age that we will magically be changed? I stopped having real New Years Resolutions a while back
because they never worked. I never
was able to stick with it to make the change. After all, how can I fail if I
don’t ever make a goal? I think
that I always failed eventually because I tried to rely on my own efforts to
change. True change doesn’t come
from trying hard or our good intentions.
It comes from God. We know this, but as with all of God's Ways, it is easier said than done. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One of the most profound things that God has ever told me is (Who am I kidding? When God speaks, it’s all profound!) that just because I
want something doesn’t mean I’ll get it.
I want a good marriage. But
if you wish in one and you know what in the other, see which one fills up
first. Wanting does nothing unless
you surrender and do things God’s ways.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This New Year of 2013, the only thing I want more of is
God. I want His Presence and His
Peace. His word tells us that we
already have these things—“You will show me the way of life, granting me the
joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever” (Psalms
16:11 NLT). All we have to do is
Trust that He will do what He says.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So as 2012 comes to a close, just like everyone else I will
think about the past year—about my sorrows: the things I’d like to do
differently and my joys: the things that made this year worth living. I will look forward to 2013 with
great expectation as an artist looks at a blank canvas—full of possibility. The only resolve that I will make is to
seek His Peace and His Presence above all else because in His Presence our
problems and circumstances don’t seem to matter as we fill our lives with the
fullness of His Joy. </div>
<!--EndFragment-->Brittanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13371658156077455330noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850177447026644750.post-78394596541943150122012-04-15T07:39:00.000-07:002012-04-15T07:40:49.251-07:00Treasure the Trials<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:documentproperties> <o:template>Normal.dotm</o:Template> <o:revision>0</o:Revision> <o:totaltime>0</o:TotalTime> <o:pages>1</o:Pages> <o:words>612</o:Words> <o:characters>3493</o:Characters> <o:company>Texas State University</o:Company> <o:lines>29</o:Lines> <o:paragraphs>6</o:Paragraphs> <o:characterswithspaces>4289</o:CharactersWithSpaces> <o:version>12.0</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:allowpng/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves>false</w:TrackMoves> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:drawinggridhorizontalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing> <w:drawinggridverticalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing> <w:displayhorizontaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery> <w:displayverticaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:dontautofitconstrainedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> </w:Compatibility> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="276"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal">What an amazing journey this first year teaching has been!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>It’s still not over yet, but I am feeling the need to reminisce and process what I can so far.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I have felt God so much in the midst of trials, tribulations, and overwhelming stress this year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>What has been even more overwhelming though is God’s love and will for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">So many answered prayers mark this year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>First, I got a job—one in teaching—during a difficult economic time when teachers were getting laid off left and right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>And the people I work with are absolutely amazing!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Everyone loves God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I have been very encouraged this year, and it helps to have people you can confide in who share your same beliefs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Not only that, but they all have a great sense of humor!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Laughter has really kept me going!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>My principal Donna Hart has been such a mentor this year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Her gentle spirit has taught and encouraged me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I feel like she really understands me and truly appreciates my hard work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Not only that, she is super fun!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>My assistant principal Matt Daniels reminds me of what Jesus is like.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He is gentle, kind and wise beyond his years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>It has been a blessing beyond anything I could have imagined to work with these wonderful, godly people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I thank God every day for the people he has place in my life to help me travel this path.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Though it has been bumpy and twisted, they never criticized or cut me down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I of course cannot forget Dr. George, our superintendent who has been such an inspiration to us all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Although I don’t get to work with her as closely as I do the principals and other teachers, I feel her fervent prayers in a real way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I deeply respect her hard work and dedication to Newman.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>All of the good that has come our way has come because our leader trusts and fears God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">The best thing of all, of course, is that God has also chosen Ashton and me to be blessed with the promise of a child!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I am beyond overwhelmed as I think about the reality of the gift he has place inside of me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Still, being pregnant with my first child has presented additional challenges in an already stressful and exhausting situation, but God has led me the whole way—a way I did not know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I don’t know how I managed feeling sick and exhausted, but I kept going because God was holding my hand. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I will never forget how on our first day back of the New Year for teacher training, everyone gathered around me and prayed that God would bless me with a child.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We found out that I was pregnant only a few weeks later!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>How big is God!? And who gets to work with people like that outside of ministry?!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>The students and staff have been so supportive and excited for us as their eyes have been unceasingly upon my growing belly!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>It’s such an incredible blessing to share in the joy of a child on the way with such wonderful people.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">This year the enemy, however, has come against me strongly and attacked me with anxiety and fear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He has sent gossipers and naysayers to try and destroy my spirit, but I know that I do not get my identity from approval from the others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>God is well pleased with me and that is all that matters. I know with out a doubt that God will complete the good work that He has begun in me (Phil. 1:6), specifically as this school year draws to a close.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I have learned that I can’t do it all, and I can’t do it all perfectly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>God has completely filled in the parts that I was unable to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He is beginning to teach me about what really matters in life and how to have joy in unfavorable circumstances.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>His favor, however, has been upon my life immensely.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>The comfort and approval heart idols in my life are coming down!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>God alone is my comforter and worth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Things that once seemed like insurmountable giants in my life--anxiety, fear, emotions and discomfort—are nothing when compared with the peace and understanding that a life with Jesus brings when you fully and recklessly trust him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I know that I still have much to learn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>My life is about to be turned upside down—in a good way! — when we welcome our precious baby in September.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I believe that so many of the lessons I have learned this year have been about the baby.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>God is equipping me as I begin to step out into my destiny. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I will treasure this year forever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p> <!--EndFragment-->Brittanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13371658156077455330noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850177447026644750.post-49339385503912113512011-12-17T07:53:00.000-08:002011-12-17T08:03:34.347-08:00Content and Carefree Living<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:documentproperties> <o:author>Region XIII</o:Author> <o:template>Normal.dotm</o:Template> <o:revision>0</o:Revision> <o:totaltime>0</o:TotalTime> <o:created>2011-10-12T20:25:00Z</o:Created> <o:lastsaved>2011-10-12T20:25:00Z</o:LastSaved> <o:pages>1</o:Pages> <o:words>367</o:Words> <o:characters>2097</o:Characters> <o:company>Texas State University</o:Company> <o:lines>17</o:Lines> <o:paragraphs>4</o:Paragraphs> <o:characterswithspaces>2575</o:CharactersWithSpaces> <o:version>12.0</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:allowpng/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves>false</w:TrackMoves> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:drawinggridhorizontalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing> <w:drawinggridverticalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing> <w:displayhorizontaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery> <w:displayverticaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:dontautofitconstrainedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> </w:Compatibility> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="276"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-mso-bidi-;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >“So be content with who you are, and don't put on airs. God's strong hand is on you; he'll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you” (1 Peter 5:6-7 TMB).<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-mso-bidi-;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-mso-bidi-;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" >Content and carefree is how we should live if we really believe that God is in control. Therefore, faith is really all that is required of us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>But why is faith so difficult, even though it is so simple?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>The answer is because our feelings are in direct opposition with faith.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Faith is not a feeling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium; ">This is hard for me since I am such an emotional being and I go by my feelings as many women do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Going with your “intuition” or feelings can be beneficial, but it can also be detrimental if it gets in the way of our faith, which hinders our freedom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> "</span>Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" (Hebrews 11:1 NIV).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>The Amplified Bible adds that “faith [is] perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses.”</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-mso-bidi-;font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;" ><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:15.0pt;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align: none;text-autospace:none"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;"><span style="mso-bidi-mso-bidi-">I am willful and passionate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> I often go by my feelings and what I want to do or not want to do. </span>My personality does not serve me well when I don’t want to do something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I always fall back on the verse that God will give me the “desires of [my] heart,” therefore, I should get a say in what I want to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> That is partly true, however, t</span>he full context of that verse is: </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:15.0pt;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align: none;text-autospace:none"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;"><span style="mso-bidi-mso-bidi-"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>“</span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal"><span style="mso-bidi- mso-bidi-;color:#020F19;">Trust</span></b><span style="mso-bidi-mso-bidi-;color:#020F19;"> in the L</span><span style="mso-bidi-mso-bidi- ;color:#020F19;">ORD</span><span style="mso-bidi-mso-bidi-;color:#020F19;"> and do good; dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Delight <span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>yourself in the L</span><span style="mso-bidi-mso-bidi- ;color:#020F19;">ORD</span><span style="mso-bidi-mso-bidi-;color:#020F19;">; and He will give you the desires of your heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Commit your way<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span></b>to the L</span><span style="mso-bidi-mso-bidi-;color:#020F19;">ORD</span><span style="mso-bidi- mso-bidi-;color:#020F19;">, <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal">trust</b> also in Him, and He will do it” (Psalm 37:3-5 NASB).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:15.0pt;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align: none;text-autospace:none"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color:#020F19;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"></span>That famous verse is sandwiched in between two other verses that instruct us to “Trust in the Lord” and to “commit you way to the Lord, trust also in Him.”<span> </span>We must trust in him and commit our ways to his ways as Jesus said," </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;">not my will, but yours be done" (Luke 22:42). We must </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><span style="color:#020F19;">believe that God’s plans are indeed, “</span>plans to prosper [us] and not to harm [us], plans to give [us] hope and a future” (Jerimiah 29:11 NIV).<span> </span>We must believe that “ without faith is is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him” (Hebrews 11:6 NKJV).<span> </span>We must believe that HE IS.<span> </span>God is…</span></span></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-bottom:15.0pt;mso-add-space: auto;text-indent:-.25in;mso-pagination:none;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1;mso-layout-grid-align: none;text-autospace:none"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;"><span><span style="mso-list:Ignore">·<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->In control</span></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom:15.0pt;mso-add-space: auto;text-indent:-.25in;mso-pagination:none;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1;mso-layout-grid-align: none;text-autospace:none"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;"><span><span style="mso-list:Ignore">·<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->For me</span></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom:15.0pt;mso-add-space: auto;text-indent:-.25in;mso-pagination:none;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1;mso-layout-grid-align: none;text-autospace:none"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;"><span><span style="mso-list:Ignore">·<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->My rock an my redeemer</span></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom:15.0pt;mso-add-space: auto;text-indent:-.25in;mso-pagination:none;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1;mso-layout-grid-align: none;text-autospace:none"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;"><span><span style="mso-list:Ignore">·<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->My comforter</span></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom:15.0pt;mso-add-space: auto;text-indent:-.25in;mso-pagination:none;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1;mso-layout-grid-align: none;text-autospace:none"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;"><span><span style="mso-list:Ignore">·<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Faithful</span></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom:15.0pt;mso-add-space: auto;text-indent:-.25in;mso-pagination:none;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1;mso-layout-grid-align: none;text-autospace:none"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;"><span><span style="mso-list:Ignore">·<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->love</span></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom:15.0pt;mso-add-space: auto;text-indent:-.25in;mso-pagination:none;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1;mso-layout-grid-align: none;text-autospace:none"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;"><span><span style="mso-list:Ignore">·<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->My Father</span></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom:15.0pt;mso-add-space: auto;text-indent:-.25in;mso-pagination:none;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1;mso-layout-grid-align: none;text-autospace:none"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;"><span><span style="mso-list:Ignore">·<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Lord of my life</span></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-bottom:15.0pt;mso-add-space: auto;text-indent:-.25in;mso-pagination:none;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1;mso-layout-grid-align: none;text-autospace:none"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;"><span><span style="mso-list:Ignore">·<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Good</span></p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-bottom:15.0pt;mso-add-space: auto;text-indent:-.25in;mso-pagination:none;mso-list:l0 level1 lfo1;mso-layout-grid-align: none;text-autospace:none"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;"><span><span style="mso-list:Ignore">·<span style="font:7.0pt "Times New Roman""> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->The Great I AM</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:15.0pt;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align: none;text-autospace:none"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;font-size:100%;">I believe that God does want to reward us with good things, “exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think [even beyond the desires of our heart], according to the power that works in us” (Ephesians 3:20 NKJV), but I also believe that he first wants us to believe and have faith that He is. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> That is the power that works in us. </span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom:15.0pt;mso-pagination:none;mso-layout-grid-align: none;text-autospace:none"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: georgia; font-size: medium; ">Lord, as the father of the possessed boy cried out, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24 NIV) so that I can live a content and carefree life trusting in you! </span></p> <!--EndFragment-->Brittanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13371658156077455330noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850177447026644750.post-90293093232646094502011-12-10T08:27:00.000-08:002011-12-10T08:45:59.993-08:00When Trials Come Your Way...<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:documentproperties> <o:author>Region XIII</o:Author> <o:template>Normal.dotm</o:Template> <o:revision>0</o:Revision> <o:totaltime>0</o:TotalTime> <o:created>2011-10-12T20:25:00Z</o:Created> <o:lastsaved>2011-10-12T20:25:00Z</o:LastSaved> <o:pages>1</o:Pages> <o:words>777</o:Words> <o:characters>4433</o:Characters> <o:company>Texas State University</o:Company> <o:lines>36</o:Lines> <o:paragraphs>8</o:Paragraphs> <o:characterswithspaces>5444</o:CharactersWithSpaces> <o:version>12.0</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:allowpng/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves>false</w:TrackMoves> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:drawinggridhorizontalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing> <w:drawinggridverticalspacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing> <w:displayhorizontaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery> <w:displayverticaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:dontautofitconstrainedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> </w:Compatibility> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="276"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal">I would like to say the reason that I haven’t written in my blog lately is because I have been utterly consumed with my job and have had no time, although that is totally true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Perhaps the main reason I have not written more is because what I have been going through is so hard and so personal that I hesitated to share it because the feelings were so raw, I didn't know how transparent I could be. Transparency is the best way to be. Let's just start with the facts. </p><p class="MsoNormal">This has been a crazy year. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">The year 2011 started off with the planning of my littlest sister’s wedding on May 21.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>All the while, I am unhappy subbing and looking for full time work and insurance so that Ashton and I could start planning our family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>An answered prayer happened May 5<sup>th</sup> when I was offered a full time teaching job in the fall.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We took a much needed 3-week vacation in Florida during the summer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>During that time, my other sister found out she was pregnant and Ashton’s grandmother found out she had cancer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>There were also personal family issues with which I was dealing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We came back and it was time to get ready for the school year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Before the job had even started I was unbelievably overwhelmed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Right after the first of the school year, Ashton’s grandmother passed away, a dear friend lost her life to a life-long battle with Cystic Fibrosis at only 26 years old, and I turned 30.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I was constantly on the verge of tears that I would cry at anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I have longed for 30 for so long because to me, it would be the age that I would be able to officially put the insecurity and foolishness of my 20’s behind me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>How silly of me to think that I would magically change, as the clock struck midnight on August 29<sup>th </sup>as if I were Cinderella.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>God would magically change me, but it wouldn’t be instant, that is for sure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p>The past semester teaching has been the absolutely most difficult time in my life--constantly crying, wanting to quit every day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Words do not explain the pressure, stress and emotions that I felt—and still do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I am prone to be dramatic, however I say the following with certainty:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>My first semester teaching has been far more difficult than my dad passing away suddenly 3 months before I got married. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>And at the moment it seems more difficult than the torture-filled 3 years I spent battling an eating disorder.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>If this feeling were to last 3 years than it would with out a doubt be worse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>The only thing I can compare the way I feel is to is the 3 years I spent in an emotionally abusive relationship, feeling trapped and powerless while everything in me literally screamed to get out. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I am not comparing the situations, but rather the way I felt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p>Perhaps the best way to explain it would be how Ashton does.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He compares it to an illustration he once heard about a young child who gets a poisonous chemical splashed in his eyes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>As his mother and father held his eye open under the water faucet to flush out the poison, he screams, “I hate you, mom and dad, I hate you!” because of the torturous pain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Although his parents knew it was best for their child to get the poison out, they were crying too because it hurt them to see their baby in such pain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">But only I am that child, screaming as God holds me under the faucet to get the poison out of my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">It was truly the perfect storm: A first-year teacher at a first-year school teaching 6, 7, 8 and 9<sup>th</sup> grade English with no books, no computers or technology, no white board, no desks, no lesson plans—only a confusing mess of CSCOPE curriculum.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">But God…</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Only God could orchestrate such a perfect storm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He knows that I have to go through this and deep down inside, I know that God is Lord over my situation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>His handiwork is so obvious throughout all of this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I work with the most amazing people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>God knew that this would be tough so he has placed me in the company of such a godly group of people to protect and comfort me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Despite the impossible circumstances, my work environment is always positive, uplifting and covered with prayer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>The miraculous help that God has sent my way proves that He is leading me by a way I do not know and guiding me along unfamiliar paths.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He is turning darkness into light before me and making the crooked places smooth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>He is doing these things and He WILL NOT FORSAKE ME (Isaiah 42:16).</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Nevertheless, this remains the hardest thing I have ever been through.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I know that it is so hard because I am trying to do all of the things that He wants to do through me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I don’t get how to stop striving and trying so hard because that is all I’ve ever done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Plus, I really am in a real situation that is really impossible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I am not simply making this up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> I have a right to feel this way, right? Don't answer that. </span>But how do you just stop trying when you have no clue how to?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>God knows that if I knew how to, I would take the credit for it and that is not what He wants.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal">Giving up control happens everyday, in the trenches when the enemy’s fire is relentless and my emotions are out of control.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal">I will say: I give it to you, God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I trust you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I will be joyful in this moment.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I know that I must consider it pure joy when trials come my way because God is perfecting my faith (James 1:2), but truthfully I look forward to the time that this is all over and I can look back in retrospect at the greatest year of my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I know that I won’t even recognize myself when this thing is over and for that I must give God praise.</p> <!--EndFragment-->Brittanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13371658156077455330noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850177447026644750.post-8581937626728149012011-07-25T16:42:00.000-07:002011-07-25T16:48:00.137-07:00Revelations at the gym of God and Life<div>If you are like me, you get your best ideas and revelation when you are just doing ordinary, every day things like driving or going to the gym. I want to share a couple of revelations that really lifted my spirits today as I was working out at the gym. </div><div><br /></div>1. <b>Jesus loves us.</b> Although this concept is as old as the world, it hit me fresh as I heard “Oh How He Loves Us” on my iPod at the gym. I love how God gives fresh revelation in the most unlikely times. As I looked at each one of God’s precious children, I fought back tears lest the other gym goers think that I need medical assistance. We are each so precious to Him and He loves us just as we are--flaws, messy life, bad habits and all. God loves us. God. Loves. Us. <i>He loves us.</i> This is really all that I need to get in this life to be free. As John 3:16 says: "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son." Thank you God for elucidating those tried, yet true Words.<br /><br />2. <b>In order to focus, I have to be doing the thing.</b> This one is also another mountain for me but it hit me as I was thinking about how I hate the gym. I hate it…until I finish, of course. But it isn’t until I actually put on my tennis shoes and do the thing that I need to do before I start to enjoy it and I can focus on doing it. I lament all of the time: I need to have a more regular quiet time, I need to pick up more, I need to do this... or whatever. But I am not doing it. If I could only DO IT, then I could focus! This Scripture came to mind: “…but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth to those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 3:13-14). The feeling and the focus will come, but for now I just need to DO IT and forget about the rest!Brittanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13371658156077455330noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850177447026644750.post-44733312546863671532011-04-18T15:36:00.000-07:002011-04-18T15:53:09.284-07:00A Prayerful Poem<!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal">As I sat down to pray, I became a little overwhelmed as I usually do when I actually think about everything that I want to pray for. The Bible tells us not worry about anything, but to pray about everything. I take this seriously, because of how much I am prone to worry. I also am prone to wonder and have some trouble focusing. I want to go do something that is urgent instead of something that is important. Then I remembered hearing John Piper talk about the importance of poetry in the Christian's life. He said that of all of the things that we spend our time on, poetry is probably one of the best. I am the best at wasting time and the worst at sitting still unless I am wasting time, but I do enjoy poetry very much. I thought that instead of struggling to focus and giving up on praying entirely, I wrote a quick poem with prayers for some of the closest people to me. Here is what I came up with. </p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">God is faithful to meet our needs</p> <p class="MsoNormal">According to his great goodness</p> <p class="MsoNormal">He sent His only son to die</p> <p class="MsoNormal">There is no greater love than this</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Now that my soul’s been saved</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I look around the ones I love </p> <p class="MsoNormal">I close my eyes and sing a song</p> <p class="MsoNormal">To my healing God who lives above</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Lord, I pray for sister Haley</p> <p class="MsoNormal">To rest and trust in none but You </p> <p class="MsoNormal">To have the wedding of her dreams</p> <p class="MsoNormal">And a godly marriage of Three, not two</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">For Joseph, my future brother in love</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Please take care of all his needs</p> <p class="MsoNormal">His career, school and future too </p> <p class="MsoNormal">To be the husband Haley needs</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Sister Megan, Lord keep her safe</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Fulfill her every heart's desire</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Give her peace and Your sweet rest</p> <p class="MsoNormal">So doing good she’ll never tire</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">Her Husband Jason, I lift to You</p><p class="MsoNormal">Please guide him as he lives and works</p><p class="MsoNormal">Redeem His life with your saving grace</p><p class="MsoNormal">For the days are evil and darkness lurks</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">My Mama--who could ask for anything more</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I’d love nothing else but her delight</p> <p class="MsoNormal">To keep her healthy, living long</p> <p class="MsoNormal">With no more tears and no more fight </p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">My husband Ashton, what a man!</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Help me to love him like no one can</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Bless his job, his health, his life</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Teach him to romance His lovely wife</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">God thank you for these souls</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Most close and dear to me</p> <p class="MsoNormal">In them I can sense Your grace</p><p class="MsoNormal">Your tender love and beauty</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Oh God you have my heart and prayers</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Your perfect plan is what I crave</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Thank you for your loving ways</p> <p class="MsoNormal">And that because of Jesus You forgave</p> <!--EndFragment-->Brittanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13371658156077455330noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850177447026644750.post-72491701912079699852011-03-22T04:51:00.000-07:002011-03-22T04:53:23.673-07:00Supernatural Faith<!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight:normal">Hope means holding on to you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Grace means you’re holding me too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>–JJ Heller</b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Trust and faith are easy statements to make.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>It is the acting it out part that gets a little difficult.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Who I am kidding?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Sometimes it seems down right impossible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>But we know that with God all things are possible and that with out faith it is impossible to please God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>It is God who makes us have faith when we trust him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Trust is a frame of mind or a heart condition more than an assertion or even an action. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Trust is a choice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Faith will take you where you want to be, but trust will make it possible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>It is to believe God over your feelings when we get disappointed and our feelings don’t line up with the Word of God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p>Take my job situation for example.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>As I wait to hear back from the school I interviewed at to be a teacher, many things go through my mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>How disappointed and discouraged I will be if I don’t get the job.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Or if I do get the job, how will I do?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Will it stress me out and be too much for me to handle?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Will I enjoy it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Am I really ready?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>What will I do if I don’t get the job? I, I, I, I, I.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>What do I know?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>What I really need to be saying is God, God, God, God!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>All of these ponderings are answered in the Word of God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">First, He will never leave me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Second, God works all things out for good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">And Third, God knows the plans He has for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Ahhh.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>See I feel better already!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Now the tricky part is just trying to focus on God instead of me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>God’s way is always the best way, but sometimes we just need to get out of the way!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i>Lord, help me to have supernatural faith that can move mountains, but yet help me to stand as firm as a mountain. Your way is perfect because You are perfect. I love you. Thank you for being You. Amen. </i></p> <!--EndFragment-->Brittanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13371658156077455330noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850177447026644750.post-14430334609683901792011-02-04T09:48:00.000-08:002011-12-10T08:50:07.851-08:00True Beauty<p class="MsoNormal">“While you are here, I want to check your measurements,” the head seamstress of one of my favorite designers in Dallas said before a big fashion show in 2007.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>As she took my measurements and looked at my model card, she was appalled.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"></span></p><p class="MsoNormal">“I don’t understand,” she barked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>“Your card says this, but you really are this size!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>What happened?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"></span>“I gained weight,” I replied plainly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"></span>“Well, maybe you should just work out or do something about this,” she asserted. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"></span>I cringed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Maybe she didn’t know that I was currently in the grips of an eating disorder and constantly struggled with being thin enough.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Maybe she did, but didn’t care.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Maybe she was like most everyone in the fashion industry that silently congratulated any means necessary to remain super thin. </span>All she cared about was having a model that was thin enough to wear the clothes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> The sad part was is that a</span>t this time I was probably a small size 4.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"></span>“I do work out—a lot actually.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I just gained a little weight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Such is life,” I told her, trying not to care.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal">The truth was that I did care.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I knew that I had been too thin and obsessed with being as thin as possible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I love food and just could not starve myself any longer, so I had begun to gain some weight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> For the past year, my weight had gone up and down as I struggled to remain as small as possible and trying to feed or ignore my starving spirit within me. G</span>aining weight as a model is shameful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I was no good if I wasn’t a size 0 or 2.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I left that studio and went home— to work out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">A few days later it was my birthday and the day of the big fashion show at Victory Park.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I love fashion shows—the excitement, the clothes, the people, the music, the lights and cameras.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I was excited to see what they had for me to wear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>As I tried on<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>a skinny little pencil skirt, I realized that I couldn’t pull it up all the way because it was too small—or I was just too big.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I instantly thought back to the measuring tape incident where I had been found out to be bigger than my agency said I was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I thought about the evil seamstress who told me I needed to work out more because I was too big.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>One of the assistants kindly switched my outfit with another girl and now I had a beautiful flowing wrap skirt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I loved it!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"></span></p><p class="MsoNormal">Later as we were getting dressed into our first look for the fashion show, the evil seamstress was in the dressing rooms, barking orders and acting like a drill sergeant, "helping" everyone get ready.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>To her glory and satisfaction, she was probably thrilled that I, this fat model had to have her wardrobe edited to accommodate her large hips.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>She made it a point to tie my new wrap skirt very tight—so tight that she pinched my skin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"></span>“Ouch!” I flinched as she caught some skin in the knot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"></span>“Oh, is it too tight?” Hitler’s wife smiled.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"></span>What a b$%@! I thought.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>She was bent on making me pay for gaining weight, wasn’t she?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> I was no longer the ideal model size. I was disposable and replaceable. </span>She just had to prove her point that I was too big for all of the clothes and she just couldn’t take it that I hadn’t been thrown out of the show.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"></span></p><p class="MsoNormal">I don’t remember too many fashion shows or photo shoots after that point.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I finally cancelled my contract the next year and stopped modeling all together. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I was getting help for my depression and eating disorder.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I had also just met Ashton and was engaged. When I think back on my modeling career, I am happy I did it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I had lots of fun, traveled, took some really great pictures, met some fun people in the fashion world and went to some great parties and exciting photo shoots.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"></span>But God had something else in mind for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>People always tell me that I look like a model or tell me that I should model.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I smile and say thanks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Sometimes I even tell them that I used to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>They ask me why I don’t any more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>I try to say as little as possible, like: Modeling is a very selfish and sick career.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>It just wasn’t for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Then I throw in the funny comment about how I love food too much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>They laugh and that’s about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>As glad as I am that I did it and now that I don’t do it any more, it has made me realize what true beauty is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>True beauty is the person that is looking back at you when you look into the mirror.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>But is even more than that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_afnZ4hv3T98/TUw_27K58CI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UB1cYb2I0sU/s320/20080721_037.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5569897051979378722" /><p class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">“Rather, beauty is something internal that can't be destroyed. Beauty expresses itself in a gentle and quiet attitude which God considers precious” (1 Peter 3:4 God’s Word Translatio</span>n).</b></p><p class="MsoNormal"><b><br /></b></p><p class="MsoNormal">The modeling industry may never understand true, internal beauty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Most models may be perfect and flawless on the outside, but they are deeply disturbed and tortured on the inside because they have— like I have and many others have—believed the lie that your worth is based on a number on a scale, a number on a measuring tape, or a number on a pair of jeans. I am so thankful that God has healed me from believing that lie and I love the size that I am now!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">God, help us as women to see ourselves as you do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Help us to cultivate our inner beauty from a gentle and graceful spirit that only you can provide.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></p> <!--EndFragment-->Brittanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13371658156077455330noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850177447026644750.post-84244016984418400082011-02-02T08:05:00.000-08:002011-11-25T10:26:10.766-08:00The Stuff Life is Made of<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_afnZ4hv3T98/TUmGW_-ZEhI/AAAAAAAAAF8/0WBKharDIlg/s1600/20080612_049.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_afnZ4hv3T98/TUmGW_-ZEhI/AAAAAAAAAF8/0WBKharDIlg/s320/20080612_049.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5569130143908696594" /></a><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">I love to reminiscence about life and look at pictures and the way things were. I love how just a scent or a picture in my mind can remind me of how I felt at a certain time in my life. I also love to daydream about what the future holds and make plans for fun vacations that I want to take or parties that I want to have. </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">But life is really nothing more than memories and dreams if you don’t have Jesus to give you peace, hope and love.</span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">And what about the bad memories? I wish that sometimes my past hurts and traumas would just disappear, but we can’t just sort through our memories and forget the bad ones or take them out with the trash. Sadly enough, it’s the bad memories that seemed engrained in our minds. It’s the bad memories that change us the most. But what we can do is take all of our memories—good and bad to the Cross and give them to Jesus and see what he would have us do with them. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">With Jesus, memories become your testimony that speak out power and encouragement.</span></b></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">And what about the dreams that don’t come true? The Bible says that hope deferred make the heart sick (Prov. 13:12). We all have a sick heart caused from things that we have hoped and prayed for that still did not come true. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">But with Jesus, dreams become your hope and future for a better place than this sick and fallen world.</span></b></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">So be encouraged. The stuff life is made of really is mainly memories and dreams. But the Bible tells us that </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">"no eye has seen,</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:georgia;font-size:medium;"> no ear has heard, </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">and what no human mind has conceived</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;">the things God has prepared for those who love him" (1 Cor. 2:9). Jesus came to give us an abundant and full life (John 10:10). When life is full of bad memories and shattered dreams and seems so hard and pointless, just remember that Jesus came to give us more and one day it will be ours! </span></span></p>Brittanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13371658156077455330noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850177447026644750.post-24207912818185450882011-02-01T14:35:00.000-08:002011-02-01T14:40:55.528-08:00Sweet Jesus<!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal">I am on a roll today with these blog posts--This is #3! I guess that being snow/iced in is a good thing for creative writing! Here is a new poem (could also be song lyrics!) I just put together today called "Sweet Jesus."</p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> <!--StartFragment--> </span></span></p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><p class="MsoNormal">My spirit is free</p> <p class="MsoNormal">To pray and rejoice</p> <p class="MsoNormal">To flap its wings</p> <p class="MsoNormal">For this is my choice</p> <p class="MsoNormal">In the Spirit I live</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Because you forgive</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Oh Jesus, sweet Jesus</p> <p class="MsoNormal">To You I give in</p> <p class="MsoNormal">You hold me captive </p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">My soul at ease</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Because of Your love</p> <p class="MsoNormal">It takes me in</p> <p class="MsoNormal">And brings me above</p> <p class="MsoNormal">My troubles I face</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Enemies in every place</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Oh Jesus, sweet Jesus</p> <p class="MsoNormal">You calm me and keep me</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Because of God’s grace</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">My heart at rest</p> <p class="MsoNormal">In Jesus’ hands</p> <p class="MsoNormal">The Truth remains</p> <p class="MsoNormal">washing over the land</p> <p class="MsoNormal">like waves on the shore</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I am hungry for more</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Oh Jesus, sweet Jesus</p> <p class="MsoNormal">You give me what I </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Have been looking for</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Oh Jesus, sweet Jesus</p> <p class="MsoNormal">You are what I </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Have been dying for</p> <!--EndFragment--> </span><p></p><!--EndFragment-->Brittanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13371658156077455330noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850177447026644750.post-33361528046522475012011-02-01T11:38:00.002-08:002012-03-18T12:54:42.933-07:00Angel<!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal">This is a poem I wrote about my journey as a Christian and the bondage that I came under after I was saved. It is about how God set me free after he saved my soul. </p><p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><br /></i></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">My spirit heard the Truth.<o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">And liked how it sounded. <o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">It was like a vine growing to the sound of music in a garden.<o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">But I did not build a wall around my garden of truth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">And the wolves came and chewed out the vine.<o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">They were still hungry and so I fed them more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">Weeds of lies choked out the spirit of truth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">The fruit never ripened and my soul was in despair.<o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">How could you let this happen? My soul screamed.<o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">I can’t go on any longer, My spirit cried.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">My heart grew deceitful and evil grew from within.<o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">I hated my garden then.<o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">I wanted to run away—<o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">I wanted to fly away like a bird<o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">But never return.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">But I would keep flying and falling into the quicksand of death.<o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">Though I would not return, it would return to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">I wanted to do good, but I did not know how.<o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">I only knew how to feed the wolves.<o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">And so I did for many years,<o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">Until I was spared.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">My angel was a young girl with long blonde hair<o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">It was stringy, yet soft and smelled of powder. <o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">I thought that it would touch the ground.<o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">She did not have wings, but she carried a mirror.<o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">It was embellished with jewels and looked far too heavy for her to carry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">But she held it softly as if it were a butterfly.<o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">She came up to me and held it to my heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">I was afraid of what she would see, so I flinched and closed my eyes, afraid to look.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></i></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"></span>But I felt something encouraging me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></i></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"></span>It is okay, He said to me and so I saw. <o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">I no longer saw the garden of weeds and death.</i></p><p class="MsoNormal"><i>But a butterfly on a flower.</i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">I no longer heard the screams for help.</i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">I saw the sun and felt the breeze.<o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">Who was this girl with the mirror? I wondered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">She smiled and then I knew.<o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">That girl was me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></i></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <!--EndFragment-->Brittanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13371658156077455330noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850177447026644750.post-63282358323341560032011-02-01T11:30:00.000-08:002013-01-09T18:52:08.064-08:00I Don't Like the Way You are Treating my Daughter<!--StartFragment--> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I don’t like the way you are treating my daughter.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is what God told me at a two-day church retreat called Kairos, which means “an appointed time with God.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew that He was talking about me and how I was treating myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am too hard on myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Way too hard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This often carries over onto other people, especially in my marriage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A few days prior to this I wrote this in my journal:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">God just showed me that I still hate myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t, but I know that He is right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am constantly irritated or depressed or overwhelmed or angry or hurt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How have I gone on for so long?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I need to get set free to BE myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But who am I?</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am a creative, contemplative free-spirited girl.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I absolutely love having fun and laughing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Something inside of me likes the person that I am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Its not true that I am always irritated or depressed, but I feel like something isn’t right inside of me and it has been like that for a long time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I look back over my past journal entries, I see a common theme: pain, melancholy, doubt and fear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t pin point when all this started.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then the lines I wrote occurred to me:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My heart feels like<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Scattered pieces<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">My mind feels like<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">A thunderstorm.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">This world is fallen<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Broken bodies<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Fix me, Jesus<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Take me home.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p> </o:p>We live in a fallen world of pain and death.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Life is hard, but we have eternity buried deep with in us which makes us yearn for more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Surrender what you have, everything you can see for what you can’t see.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Give it all away, all of the hurt and pain inside of you. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>“So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.” (2. Cor. 4:18, NLT)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Don’t you just love God’s Word!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is my Rock and my Sanity in this fallen world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just can not get enough of it!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not only everything that I see now, but those feelings of hurt, pain, fear, doubt, anxiety, depression and insecurity will soon be gone!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hallelujah!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lord, let my eyes be fixed upon you so that I can endure until this fallen world has passed away and everything in it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>FIX ME JESUS, TAKE ME HOME!</div>
<!--EndFragment-->Brittanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13371658156077455330noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850177447026644750.post-34748771303376770802011-01-13T11:09:00.000-08:002011-01-13T11:50:20.819-08:00Pursuit of Happiness<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_afnZ4hv3T98/TS9WnpC4CzI/AAAAAAAAAFg/TkhDc31Mris/s1600/2433223949_783e0cae83.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_afnZ4hv3T98/TS9WnpC4CzI/AAAAAAAAAFg/TkhDc31Mris/s400/2433223949_783e0cae83.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5561759303858654002" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" border-collapse: collapse; font-family:georgia, 'bookman old style', 'palatino linotype', 'book antiqua', palatino, 'trebuchet ms', helvetica, garamond, sans-serif, arial, verdana, 'avante garde', 'century gothic', 'comic sans ms', times, 'times new roman', serif;font-size:medium;"><i><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; "><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">If only we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time. </span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> ~Edith Wharton</span></span></div></i></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia, 'bookman old style', 'palatino linotype', 'book antiqua', palatino, 'trebuchet ms', helvetica, garamond, sans-serif, arial, verdana, 'avante garde', 'century gothic', 'comic sans ms', times, 'times new roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" border-collapse: collapse; font-family:georgia, 'bookman old style', 'palatino linotype', 'book antiqua', palatino, 'trebuchet ms', helvetica, garamond, sans-serif, arial, verdana, 'avante garde', 'century gothic', 'comic sans ms', times, 'times new roman', serif;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product.</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> ~Eleanor Roosevelt</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" border-collapse: collapse; color: rgb(51, 0, 0); font-family:georgia, 'bookman old style', 'palatino linotype', 'book antiqua', palatino, 'trebuchet ms', helvetica, garamond, sans-serif, arial, verdana, 'avante garde', 'century gothic', 'comic sans ms', times, 'times new roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" border-collapse: collapse; font-family:georgia, 'bookman old style', 'palatino linotype', 'book antiqua', palatino, 'trebuchet ms', helvetica, garamond, sans-serif, arial, verdana, 'avante garde', 'century gothic', 'comic sans ms', times, 'times new roman', serif;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Misery is almost always the result of thinking.</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> ~Joseph Joubert</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" border-collapse: collapse; color: rgb(49, 0, 0); font-family:Georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" border-collapse: collapse; font-family:georgia, 'bookman old style', 'palatino linotype', 'book antiqua', palatino, 'trebuchet ms', helvetica, garamond, sans-serif, arial, verdana, 'avante garde', 'century gothic', 'comic sans ms', times, 'times new roman', serif;"></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" border-collapse: collapse; font-family:Georgia;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Eden is that old-fashioned house we dwell in every day Without suspecting our abode until we drive away. </span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">~Emily Dickinson</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" border-collapse: collapse; font-family:georgia, 'bookman old style', 'palatino linotype', 'book antiqua', palatino, 'trebuchet ms', helvetica, garamond, sans-serif, arial, verdana, 'avante garde', 'century gothic', 'comic sans ms', times, 'times new roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase: if you pursue happiness you'll never find it. </span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> ~C.P. Snow<br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" border-collapse: collapse; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; "><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I just want to be happy. Who doesn't? I just heard a quote about those who seek happiness are the most miserable people. And there seems to be a lot of truth in the phrase: "blissful ignorance." Happiness is not a place as we tend to think. It is like the American Dream. Everyone wants it and most people think that they are on the way to obtain it, but like happiness, the American Dream is an illusion. Really the only thing that exists is The Kingdom of God. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; "><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; "><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> recently learned that the answer to our problems is not found in the solution. Rather, the answer to our problems is found in seeking the Kingdom of God. Matthew 6:33 says: "</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Philippians 1:11 says: " May you always be filled with the fruit of your salvation-- the righteous character produced in your life by Jesus Christ for this will bring much glory and praise to God.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">We must understand that the "Pursuit of Happiness" is a superficial and endless journey. (And when I say "we," I mean "I"!) Women especially have this trouble because we think so much and we feel so much. I have been told that men actually have the capability to think of absolutely nothing. Then does that mean that they have achieved blissful ignorance? Possibly! All I'm saying is that I want to be happy and I want you to be happy, but more than that, we have to seek to bring God glory and praise and to love each other. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">There is so much more to life than being happy. When we realize that, then we will be free to be truly happy. Only then, it will be more joy than happiness!</span></span></div>Brittanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13371658156077455330noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850177447026644750.post-9395669053951966222010-12-02T17:21:00.000-08:002010-12-02T17:27:21.035-08:00And Why Do You Worry About Clothes?<div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, </span></i></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">what you will wear</span></i></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?</span></i></span></div> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> 28 “</span></i></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?</span></i></span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.</span></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> (Matt. 6:25-34 NIV)</span></i></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">There I was again—having a breakdown in the closet.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Ladies, you know what I mean.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Nothing fits, you feel fat, you don’t have anything to wear, this needs to be ironed— and I’m running late.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Over the past few years, this has been the story of my life.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I don’t know how many countless times my husband found me in tears in my closet as I declared that I am not going anywhere anymore because I am too fat and don’t have any clothes.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Before it was my husband, it was my sister who found me like this.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">This has been an on-going thing.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I have gained a healthy amount of weight since battling eating disorder and the last time I was this size was almost a decade ago.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I found myself honestly having little clothes that fit (especially for a creative person who loves fashion like myself) or if they did fit, they were picked out by a much younger version of myself.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">A nearly 30-year-old does not need to wear what a 20-year-old would wear.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">When I was discussing this problem (OK freaking out because I wanted $5,000 like they get on What Not To Wear to buy a new wardrobe) with my wise and precious husband, he told me to pray about it and quoted me Philipians 4:6: </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></i><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I am not unfamiliar with this concept.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">After all, I am the girl who wrote out my list of requirements for a husband, gave it to God and prayed over it.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Then I met and married Ashton who was above and beyond all I could have wanted him to be (Eph. 3:20).</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So, I did the same with my wardrobe dilemma.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I wrote out my prayer request entitled, “A Substantial Wardrobe” and included the quantity of articles of clothing I thought would make that true.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Well, I didn’t get exactly what was on that list, but what I did get was so much more!</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">My sister house-sits for a precious Christian family whom God has blessed financially because of their faithfulness.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">They gave Haley a big box of designer clothes that they were getting rid of, most of which were my size!</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Today I tried them on and kept most of them!</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Not only were they a perfect fit, they were my style exactly!</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Now, don’t get me wrong, I love designer clothing, but I could never really afford it—not with my budget and how much I love to shop.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So, I have been happy with Target, Ross, TJ Maxx and Express like most people.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">After I brought home all of those beautiful garments, I felt kind of silly because deep down inside I guess I thought that God did not care about me having plenty of cute and stylish clothes that flattered me and made me feel beautiful because He wanted me to be content with what I had.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">We </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">should</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> be content, but that doesn’t mean that we will not be blessed!</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">So, here I stand corrected.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">God ROCKS </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">and</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> he has good taste in clothing!</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">(I’m talking Marc Jacobs, Nanette Lepore, Juicy Couture, Rock Revival and Tory Burch.) But why wouldn’t He?</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">After all, he is God.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">He is the one who clothes the lilies of the field and dressed King Solomon in all of his splendor! (Mat. 6:28-29). (Believe me, kings do not wear rags.)</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">As I think about what God has done for me, I am overcome by His generosity and faithfulness.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">He is a God who meets needs—EVERY. </span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">SINGLE.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">NEED.</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">(Even the kinda materialistic ones just because he can. </span><span style="font-family:Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria;mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria;mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;mso-char-type:symbol;mso-symbol-font-family:Wingdings;"><span style="font-family:Wingdings;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">J</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">) Thank you Jesus!</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Who am I Lord, that you look upon me? (Psalm 8:4).</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Who am I that should receive such gifts?</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I am the daughter of the Most High (Luke 6:35).</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I am the daughter of my Heavenly Father who knows me and gives me the desires of my heart because He knows how to give good gifts (Psalm 37:4, Mat. 7:11).</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">You can pray for </span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">ANYTHING</span></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">, and if you have faith, you will receive it</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> (Mat. 21:22</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">NLT). </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_afnZ4hv3T98/TPhGrYXArXI/AAAAAAAAAFU/KfwcMuY1fdc/s400/IMG_4130.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5546260652194049394" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px; " /></span></p><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><br /></span></div> <!--EndFragment-->Brittanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13371658156077455330noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850177447026644750.post-85726949512235234202010-12-01T09:17:00.000-08:002010-12-01T09:18:20.992-08:00There Would Never be a Today...<!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-family:"Lucida Grande";mso-bidi-font-family:"Lucida Grande"; color:#333333">Tomorrow is that far off gaze that overtakes us when we are tired and have a moment to rest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>It’s when our thoughts drift to a moment of peace when we know that everything is OK. Tomorrow is in our spirit, our blood and our soul.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We pray for tomorrow, hope for tomorrow and live for tomorrow. We will do that tomorrow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>We will be better tomorrow. If we could just make it until tomorrow…<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-family:"Lucida Grande";mso-bidi-font-family:"Lucida Grande"; color:#333333">Tomorrow is the material of hope that makes us all the same.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>For the widow, it means to grow in healing and to fill in the gaping void in her life. For the old man with cancer, it means to be able to die and live again in heaven, pain free.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>For the teenage girl, it means to accept her body as beautiful and stop wishing that she was thinner, curvier or taller. For the young boy it means to have friends that would stop teasing him about his lazy eye.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>For the newlywed wife, it means to trust that her husband really does love her even though he stays consumed with work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>For the lonely man, it means that he would heal his broken heart and find someone to share life and love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>For the sick grandmother, it means being able to live long enough to see her only grandson get marry his bride.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>For the homeless young man, it means to get a bus ticket to see his great aunt, his only family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>For the alcoholic, it means to make it another day with out ending up at the bar at night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>For the single woman, it means to find peace and happiness with out taking too many pills.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-family:"Lucida Grande";mso-bidi-font-family:"Lucida Grande"; color:#333333">For me, tomorrow means that I will have died just a little bit more to myself so that I can grow in love towards my family and friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Tomorrow is the promise that I will hurt less because I would have finally gotten the lesson that I needed to learn today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Tomorrow is the hope that I would have made a difference today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Tomorrow is the day that my dreams will come true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>But why do I have to wait until tomorrow?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Why can’t I have tomorrow today?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span>Tomorrow increases my faith and joy and life because with out tomorrow, there would never be a today. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span style="font-family:"Lucida Grande";mso-bidi-font-family:"Lucida Grande"; color:#333333">And for the person reading this essay, tomorrow means— what ever you need it, dream it or want it to mean.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes"> </span></span></p> <!--EndFragment-->Brittanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13371658156077455330noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850177447026644750.post-50711410939545558892010-11-23T07:37:00.000-08:002010-11-23T07:46:13.382-08:00Let it Fall to the Ground<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_afnZ4hv3T98/TOvglKSCd0I/AAAAAAAAAFM/Hbg2tZtd4cQ/s1600/dandilion.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_afnZ4hv3T98/TOvglKSCd0I/AAAAAAAAAFM/Hbg2tZtd4cQ/s320/dandilion.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5542770695429322562" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ.</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> (Phil. 3:7-8 NASB)</span></span></div><i><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; "><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ.</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"> (2 Cor. 10:5 NLT)</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br /></span></span></span></div></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;"><br />Once I wrote in desperation that I need to be so dependant on God that everything else around me call fall to the ground. That is kind of extreme, but I have learned that unless I have that attitude I will try and hold on to things that I should let go and try to focus on things that are not worthy of my time and energy. My striving, my pride, my selfish desires, my flesh, my bad attitude, my feelings, my cares, my worries-- Everything needs to fall to the ground. Let it hit the floor. I don’t care. Scripture says that these things are rubbish, garbage, worthless. Webster's Bible Translation even calls them “dung”! That means that they stink! We need to flush these things down the toilet where they belong.<br /><br />Why don’t we do this? Why is it so hard to shake these things? Because we don’t want to. The truth be told, I don’t always want to shake my bad habits and sit down quietly with God because I don’t feel like it. I want to zone out and not think. It’s hard and I’m tired. Plus, how am I supposed to stop feeling a certain way? I am sick of fighting.<br /><br />It is a lie to believe that we should not fight. These things are worth us fighting to get rid of because on the other side is “more and better life than [we] ever dreamed of” (John 10:10 TMB). These things are keeping me from the joy and healing that Jesus came to give (Psalms 147:3).<br /><br />Lord, heal your people from a spirit of slumber. We don’t want to be casual Christians. We don’t want to live a luke-warm life. I am sick of living a dulled life because of fear and weariness. Come into our lives and have your way, Jesus. Give us rest because you promised and you love us. Thank you for that Truth. Amen. </span></span>Brittanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13371658156077455330noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850177447026644750.post-81445435074781818312010-09-19T17:38:00.000-07:002010-09-19T17:45:42.291-07:00A Conversation with GodGateway Church is doing a series on Hearing God. Today's message was about what it means to be God's friend. I was reminded of this vignette I wrote several years ago. Enjoy this new-to-you bit of creative writing from my heart to yours.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>God held out his hand to me and on it I saw my name written. We were alone, nothing else mattered. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. I don’t even know what I was going to say. But just then, God put his fingers to my lips and said, “Shhh, my child, save your words. I know your heart.” I wanted to cry, but then I realized that I had forgotten how. Instead I laughed like I didn’t know I could. And like music to my soul, God laughed too. </i></span></span><br /></span>Brittanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13371658156077455330noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850177447026644750.post-82958236176322925902010-09-13T14:09:00.000-07:002010-09-14T14:09:00.802-07:00His Love Covers Me<div><br /></div><div><br /></div><object style="background-image:url(http://i3.ytimg.com/vi/ZhJwPs9CRTU/hqdefault.jpg)" width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZhJwPs9CRTU?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZhJwPs9CRTU?fs=1&hl=en_US" width="425" height="344" allowscriptaccess="never" allowfullscreen="true" wmode="transparent" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object><br /><br />These song lyrics came just in time. I was denied health insurance coverage due to my history of eating disorder. I had just come from the gym and this was the last song on my iPod that I heard. When I got the news that I had been denied, I broke down and cried. I cried because I want to have babies and I thought that I could never be covered because of a stupid lie that I needed to be super skinny. Then God whispered to me: My love covers you and I was reminded of this song, still fresh in my mind. Thank you, Jesus for that truth!!!<br /><br /> "All I Need" by J.J. Heller<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">I don't need a thing<br /><br />My good shepherd brings me all <br /><br />You are all I need<br /><br />You let me catch my breath<br /><br />Even in the valley of death<br /><br />You are all I need<br /><br /> <br /><br />All I need to be complete is your love<br /><br />Your blood that covers me<br /><br /> <br /><br />You lift up my head<br /><br />You provide the wine and bread<br /><br />You are all I need<br /><br />There's no need to fear<br /><br />Even with my enemies here<br /><br />You are all I need<br /><br /> <br /><br />All I need to be complete is your love<br /><br />Your blood that covers me<br /><br /> <br /><br />Goodness and mercy are following me<br /><br />You are all that I need<br /><br />You make a home for me <br /><br />With pastures of green as far as I see<br /><br />You are all I need<br /><br /> <br /><br />All I need to be complete is your love<br /><br />Your blood that covers me </span>Brittanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13371658156077455330noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850177447026644750.post-31490930201547795612010-09-09T07:14:00.000-07:002010-09-09T08:21:44.475-07:00A Woman's Heart Reveals God<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_afnZ4hv3T98/TIj6kQJDCMI/AAAAAAAAAFE/t3nNsoBqUzg/s1600/yaa050000025.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_afnZ4hv3T98/TIj6kQJDCMI/AAAAAAAAAFE/t3nNsoBqUzg/s320/yaa050000025.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5514933244430321858" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 19px; font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:medium;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">A woman's heart is very special to God. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">He cares about our hurt feelings and emotions </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">that often don't make sense. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">This is because He loves us, </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">but also because he places His heart in a woman </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">to reveal something special about </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:large;">His nature.</span></div></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 19px; font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:13px;"><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 19px; font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Here are 2 points that are on my heart that I have been learning to embrace about God's heart and my own:</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 19px; font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 19px; font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">1. God is a jealous God. God is also a compassionate God. He constantly commands, points and draws us to himself because he is the best thing for us. If he didn't then he would not love us because he would not be showing us Himself. He would just be letting us try to figure it out on our own. That is true love. That is why he is jealous. That is why he points us to himself over and over in the Bible. ("You shall have no other gods besides me" ring a bell?)</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 19px; font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 19px; font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Sadly, however, while I was googling, I came across the sad misconception below:</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 19px; font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><i>If he [God] was a person would you love him or would you think he was </i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><i>manipulative psychotic control freak? Now consider that he has set up a</i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre;"><i> </i></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><i>system of constant </i></span><a href="http://mwillett.org/Politics/surveillance.htm" style="text-decoration: none; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><i>surveillance</i></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><i> to watch you all the time. He says he loves</i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre;"><i> </i></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><i>you, and if you don't love him and worship him he will burn you, for all </i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><i>eternity. Would you let your daughter see such a man?</i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre;"><i> </i> </span></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 19px; font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre;"></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium; line-height: 19px; ">(from http://mwillett.org/atheism/jealous-god.htm)</span><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lord, help us. This website encourages atheism and tries to claim that God doesn't love us and is actually a big meanie. The reason? A sorry excuse to live life as they want to. If there is no God, then there are no rules to live by. They say, Let's instead live by the rules of ourselves and trust in little gods who sit on our shelves. Sad, empty and plain untrue. </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 19px; font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Lord, help the people who are missing you. Soften their hearts and just love on them so that they will know your perfect love! </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">The Truth is that God LOVES US!!! Before I put God first (and believe me it is a constant battle to keep him there; our hearts are prone to wonder), my life made no sense. I had no hope. The Love of God is so essential to life that with out it you are not really living. There is nothing like knowing that you were made for a purpose--a great purpose! And that we are sons and daughters of the King. Royalty! Who would not want to be royalty!? I know that I am a princess! Thank you God!</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">2. God has put his heart in Woman's heart. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I am re-reading </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Captivating</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> by Stasi and John Eldredge. (A beautiful book and a must-read! The first time I read it, I wept because it was like someone was reading my heart to me and the second time has proved no different and I am only in Chapter 2!) J</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 19px; font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">ohn suggests, "When you are with a woman, ask yourself, what is she telling me about God? It will open up wonders for you" (26). </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 19px; font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Here are some amazing excerpts that explain why women are the way they are: </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 19px; font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 19px; font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">God longs to be desired. Just as a woman longs to be desired. This is not </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">some weakness or insecurity on the part of a woman, that deep yearning to </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">be desired.(29)</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 19px; font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 19px; font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">He does not want to be an option in our lives. He does not want to be an<span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">appendage, a tagalong. Neither does any woman. God is essential. He </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">wants us to need him--desperately. Eve is </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 19px; font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">[women are] e</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 19px; font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">ssential. She has </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">an irreplaeable role to play. And so you's see that women are endowed with </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">fierce devotion, an ability to suffer great hardships, a vistion to make the </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">world a better place. (33)</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 19px; font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 19px; font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">See?!?! Now doesn't that explain so much?!?! Women rock because God rocks! We are love because God loves! And the coolest part is that God created women to be a helper, sustainer and lifesaver to Adam just as he helps us. The word "help" that is used to describe women in Genesis 2:18 is </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">ezer kenegdo</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> which is the same word that is used to describe God as our Helper. No one else is described that way besides God and Woman. That is a tall glass of water to drink, but when you realize that truth, the shame of being too much or not enough that women often feel melts away. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 19px; font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 19px; font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">I hope that this blesses someone. I am going to get back to my book now! Love you!</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px; "><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span></span><div><br /></div></div></div></div>Brittanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13371658156077455330noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850177447026644750.post-51249512064467613202010-09-08T11:39:00.000-07:002010-09-08T11:46:29.530-07:00Do It Yourself Boot Shapers<div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_afnZ4hv3T98/TIfZnja16DI/AAAAAAAAAEk/6lfJCukjRLs/s1600/IMG_3597.jpg"></a><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">What do these things have in common? I'll give you a hint. They aren't trash.</div><div><br /></div><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_afnZ4hv3T98/TIfY0IxVWfI/AAAAAAAAAEU/qX3o_ifBvjE/s200/IMG_3594.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5514614658957662706" /><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">They're boot shapers!!!! YAY!!!</div><div><br /></div><div><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_afnZ4hv3T98/TIfZMZ8qkvI/AAAAAAAAAEc/u33SkqGZINE/s200/IMG_3596.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5514615075885454066" /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Which boot would you rather be?</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_afnZ4hv3T98/TIfZnja16DI/AAAAAAAAAEk/6lfJCukjRLs/s200/IMG_3597.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5514615542284412978" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px; " /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div></div>Brittanyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13371658156077455330noreply@blogger.com0