Thursday, December 2, 2010

And Why Do You Worry About Clothes?

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matt. 6:25-34 NIV)


There I was again—having a breakdown in the closet. Ladies, you know what I mean. Nothing fits, you feel fat, you don’t have anything to wear, this needs to be ironed— and I’m running late.

Over the past few years, this has been the story of my life. I don’t know how many countless times my husband found me in tears in my closet as I declared that I am not going anywhere anymore because I am too fat and don’t have any clothes. Before it was my husband, it was my sister who found me like this. This has been an on-going thing. I have gained a healthy amount of weight since battling eating disorder and the last time I was this size was almost a decade ago. I found myself honestly having little clothes that fit (especially for a creative person who loves fashion like myself) or if they did fit, they were picked out by a much younger version of myself. A nearly 30-year-old does not need to wear what a 20-year-old would wear.

When I was discussing this problem (OK freaking out because I wanted $5,000 like they get on What Not To Wear to buy a new wardrobe) with my wise and precious husband, he told me to pray about it and quoted me Philipians 4:6: Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. I am not unfamiliar with this concept. After all, I am the girl who wrote out my list of requirements for a husband, gave it to God and prayed over it. Then I met and married Ashton who was above and beyond all I could have wanted him to be (Eph. 3:20). So, I did the same with my wardrobe dilemma. I wrote out my prayer request entitled, “A Substantial Wardrobe” and included the quantity of articles of clothing I thought would make that true. Well, I didn’t get exactly what was on that list, but what I did get was so much more!

My sister house-sits for a precious Christian family whom God has blessed financially because of their faithfulness. They gave Haley a big box of designer clothes that they were getting rid of, most of which were my size! Today I tried them on and kept most of them! Not only were they a perfect fit, they were my style exactly! Now, don’t get me wrong, I love designer clothing, but I could never really afford it—not with my budget and how much I love to shop. So, I have been happy with Target, Ross, TJ Maxx and Express like most people. After I brought home all of those beautiful garments, I felt kind of silly because deep down inside I guess I thought that God did not care about me having plenty of cute and stylish clothes that flattered me and made me feel beautiful because He wanted me to be content with what I had. We should be content, but that doesn’t mean that we will not be blessed!

So, here I stand corrected. God ROCKS and he has good taste in clothing! (I’m talking Marc Jacobs, Nanette Lepore, Juicy Couture, Rock Revival and Tory Burch.) But why wouldn’t He? After all, he is God. He is the one who clothes the lilies of the field and dressed King Solomon in all of his splendor! (Mat. 6:28-29). (Believe me, kings do not wear rags.)

As I think about what God has done for me, I am overcome by His generosity and faithfulness. He is a God who meets needs—EVERY. SINGLE. NEED. (Even the kinda materialistic ones just because he can. J) Thank you Jesus!

Who am I Lord, that you look upon me? (Psalm 8:4). Who am I that should receive such gifts? I am the daughter of the Most High (Luke 6:35). I am the daughter of my Heavenly Father who knows me and gives me the desires of my heart because He knows how to give good gifts (Psalm 37:4, Mat. 7:11).

You can pray for ANYTHING, and if you have faith, you will receive it (Mat. 21:22 NLT).


Wednesday, December 1, 2010

There Would Never be a Today...

Tomorrow is that far off gaze that overtakes us when we are tired and have a moment to rest. It’s when our thoughts drift to a moment of peace when we know that everything is OK. Tomorrow is in our spirit, our blood and our soul. We pray for tomorrow, hope for tomorrow and live for tomorrow. We will do that tomorrow. We will be better tomorrow. If we could just make it until tomorrow…

Tomorrow is the material of hope that makes us all the same. For the widow, it means to grow in healing and to fill in the gaping void in her life. For the old man with cancer, it means to be able to die and live again in heaven, pain free. For the teenage girl, it means to accept her body as beautiful and stop wishing that she was thinner, curvier or taller. For the young boy it means to have friends that would stop teasing him about his lazy eye. For the newlywed wife, it means to trust that her husband really does love her even though he stays consumed with work. For the lonely man, it means that he would heal his broken heart and find someone to share life and love. For the sick grandmother, it means being able to live long enough to see her only grandson get marry his bride. For the homeless young man, it means to get a bus ticket to see his great aunt, his only family. For the alcoholic, it means to make it another day with out ending up at the bar at night. For the single woman, it means to find peace and happiness with out taking too many pills.

For me, tomorrow means that I will have died just a little bit more to myself so that I can grow in love towards my family and friends. Tomorrow is the promise that I will hurt less because I would have finally gotten the lesson that I needed to learn today. Tomorrow is the hope that I would have made a difference today. Tomorrow is the day that my dreams will come true. But why do I have to wait until tomorrow? Why can’t I have tomorrow today? Tomorrow increases my faith and joy and life because with out tomorrow, there would never be a today.

And for the person reading this essay, tomorrow means— what ever you need it, dream it or want it to mean.