God, Help Me to Be a Good Mother

Lord, I need your peace, comfort and strength to be a good mother. 

That was my prayer as I began to journal.  And as I got the word “good,” I stopped dead in my tracks.  I was reminded of this scripture:

Once a religious leader asked Jesus this question: “Good Teacher, what should I do to inherit eternal life?”  “Why do you call me good?” Jesus asked him. “Only God is truly good (Luke 18:19 NLT).

If Jesus didn’t even consider himself good (even though he was perfect), what sense does it make for me to try and be a “good” mother?  Actually, let me be honest.  I want to be a perfect mother.

I want to always respond to my children in a calm and loving manner, taking every opportunity to patiently teach them and train them.  If I don’t explain something with the utmost grace and gentleness, I feel incredible shame and guilt.   God forbid I snap and yell or threaten to spank their butt [and do it] or take away all her toys [and do it] if she can’t stop throwing them all in the floor. 

I want to always engage with them or lead them into independent play, so that mommy can get something done.  Every time I turn on Netflix, I shutter with disgust and thus begin the relentless accusations about my laziness as a mother and how my children’s brains are rotting as they spend more time in front of a screen.

I want to always make sure my children eat healthy foods and try new foods out.  To do this I [try to] limit sugar and processed snacks like Goldfish.  But it never fails, and out come the Goldfish as I vow to never buy more once they run out.  And then I do, of course, the next time I am at the grocery store. 

I want to always take time to enjoy my daughter’s expert stalling techniques before bed instead of rushing through the bedtime story just so I can climb into bed and escape into my novel for a while. 

I used to think that I was a bad mother if I gave my baby formula or any non-organic food of any kind.  Then I came to the realization that bad mothers don’t feed their children at all; good mothers do.  My simple desire to be a good mother made me a good mother.  After all, I loved her extravagantly, clothed her, fed her and protected her. 

Yes, this is all still true, but God is taking me to a deeper level of understanding what it is to be a mother and how to surrender to motherhood. 

Some synonyms for the word mother are: look after, care for, protect, nurse, tend.  I do all of those things and much more for my children, so why am I praying for God to help me to be a “good” mother?  I have already established that I am a good mother.  There is not debating that.  I would say that I love my children more than any other mother ever has loved their children, but then again all mothers feel that way.  

As with everything in life the answer to our problems is because we believe a lie in place of the truth.  Whether it is the world of social media that we live in or listening to the opinions and judgments of others, we are believing a lie in some way or another.  The father of all lies is Satan.  When we even engage in a conversation with him or listen to those thoughts that sound like us or someone we know (when they do in fact belong to Satan), we have already lost.  But when those thoughts come, and we refuse them and cling to the truth—that we are dearly loved and chosen, that we can do all things through Christ, that God’s plans for us are for good, we win. 

Satan can even sneak into the motives behind our prayers like he did for me with out me even realizing it. After all, it is a noble and honorable thing to ask for God's help to be a good mother.  But, I needed a shift in perspective to truly release me to experience freedom and God's goodness.  

Now, instead of praying for God’s peace, comfort and strength to be a good mother, I will pray simply for more of God’s Spirit for my current assignment which is to be mother.  To quote Chris Tomlin’s song, He truly is a good, good father and I’m loved by Him.  My quest should not about being a good mother, but rather about resting in my identity as a beloved daughter of the Most High God who happens to be chosen to mother two of his other precious daughters.

God, thank you that I am a simply a mother to two of the most beautiful, sweet and incredible girls.  You are good.