Psalm 139

Last night I read Psalm 139 in a new way.  I deeply thought about the truth of how God feels about me, and God's love and acceptance washed over me like never before.  For the first time, I think, I truly felt His love.  Today, I personalized the psalm in first person.  My thoughts and confessions are below in between the verses of the psalm, which is in italics.  I hope and pray that it blesses you as much as God has blessed me in doing it.  Oh how he loves us!  Oh how he loves ME!  

1 O Lord, you have examined my heart
    and know everything about me.

I am known because I am important and you care about me.  You haven’t forgotten me or ignored me.  In fact, you know me better than anyone! 

2 You know when I sit down or stand up.
             You know my thoughts even when I’m far away..

You care about every little and seemingly insignificant part of my day.  You understand my emotions—even when I don’t. You know my deepest desires, regardless of my actions.  No matter where I am in life, if I am close to you in obedience or far away in stubborn, selfish disobedience, I am still your daughter and you care about what I am thinking about, good or bad. Even when I am far from you due to my own choices, you know and care about what I am worrying about.

 (3 You scrutinize my path and my lying down, And are intimately acquainted with all my ways. NASB)

You get me!  You not only get me, but you pay especially close attention to where I am going in life—even if it seems to me I am going nowhere.  You know all my struggles, quirks, challenges, hang-ups, and disappointments, but you also know my dreams, hopes, loves and desires. 

             

4 You know what I am going to say
    even before I say it, Lord.

You know me so well you complete my sentences!  You help me use self-control to only use my words to build up instead of tearing down. 

5 You go before me and follow me.
    You place your hand of blessing on my head.

You lead me and guide me.  But even when I get out in front of you and try to do things my way, you follow me to guide me back on track so that you can bless me. 

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too great for me to understand!

Your ways are far above my ways.  There is no way I can figure out what you know and how you know it and how you work in my life—so I shouldn’t even try.  I just need to trust you and stand in awe of your ways. 

7 I can never escape from your Spirit!
    I can never get away from your presence!

8 If I go up to heaven, you are there;
    if I go down to the grave,[a] you are there.

9 If I ride the wings of the morning,
    if I dwell by the farthest oceans,

10 even there your hand will guide me,
    and your strength will support me.

You are everywhere I go because you are a part of me and I am a part of you.  Even if I am feeling weak and like a failure, and I make my life in a dark pit I created, you follow me there to give me strength and bring me home. 

(11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will overwhelm me. And the light around me will be night, NASB)

12  but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
    Darkness and light are the same to you.

I get so overwhelmed with my problems and circumstances, I feel like they will surely consume me.  I feel like the light you have called me to be no longer shines and a shadow is cast by my life instead, leaving me to a joyless existence.  But no matter helpless I feel you are not overwhelmed by my problems and uncertainties.  You will find me in the depths of darkness and depression and help me shine my light again. 

13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
    and knit me together in my mother’s womb.

You made every part of me special—my personality, my heart, my emotions.  You created me to be good.  There isn’t one single thing wrong with me.

14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
    Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.

I am the way I am because you made me that way!  I’m thankful that I am so complex and passionate.  Who wants a robot!?  Everything that you make is good, especially me. 

15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
    as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.

16 You saw me before I was born.
    Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
    before a single day had passed.

When I was all alone being made in the darkness of my mother’s womb, you were there delighting in how wonderfully I was coming together. You’ve designed every part of me and my life to be good for me.  Nothing that I’ve done in life has surprised you or disappointed you because you knew it would happen.  You’ve been in control all along!  And you always will. 

17 How precious are your thoughts about me,[b] O God.
    They cannot be numbered!

18 I can’t even count them;
    they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
    you are still with me!

You think about me constantly.  You can’t get me out of your mind.  Everything that you do, you do for me because you are thinking about me.  Nothing else even compares to how much you think of me.   

19 O God, if only you would destroy the wicked!
    Get out of my life, you murderers!

20 They blaspheme you;
    your enemies misuse your name.

21 O Lord, shouldn’t I hate those who hate you?
    Shouldn’t I despise those who oppose you?

22 Yes, I hate them with total hatred,
    for your enemies are my enemies.

There’s an enemy out there after my soul because he hates how much you love me and bless me.   He wants to kill every good thing that you’ve created in me.  He lies to me about myself, my life and you.  I hate the devil and his lies and everything he stands for.  I will wage war against the lies, God, but I need your help.  Please rescue your daughter from his evil plans. 

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.

24 Point out anything in me that offends you,
    and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

Look deep into my being and calm my anxieties, fears, insecurities and doubts—the things that hurt too bad to even mention, things so deep that I don’t understand.  Show me where I do not trust you.  Show me what lies I believe about myself and about you.  Show me the parts of my flesh that you never intended on being there, so I can repent and be as pure as the day you created me.  Gently hold my hand and guide me back to the blessed life you created me to live.  Restore me back to your love.  

                            

                                                       (Psalm 139 NLT, unless otherwise noted)