I had just got done working a very long week of teacher in
service. I didn’t do much but sit,
but it was a big change from taking it easy at the house all summer, sleeping
in, taking naps and cooling off in the pool. It was the end of my 35th week of pregnancy. I was in so much pain—my lower back,
hips, and abdomen. I’d resorted to
using a heating pad in August in Texas if that tell you how desperate I
was. Friday finally came and I was
so glad to have the weekend ahead of me to rest and get stuff ready for the
baby. I still needed to pack the
hospital bag and go to the store to get the remaining things I needed. I even
had a massage scheduled on Saturday!
This was going to be a productive and restful weekend!
But God had other plans…
Friday night at midnight I woke up to my water breaking, but
I was one of those women who for some reason didn’t realize it. I was currently getting up at least 3
times during the night to pee so I thought that I might have peed on myself
because Noelle was right on my bladder.
I went to the bathroom, but it kept on coming out at so I just tucked a
wash cloth in my panties and tried to go back to sleep. I didn’t think I could be truly going
into labor because I was barely 36 weeks, my bag wasn’t packed, and I didn’t
have any contractions. I did have
cramps, but I’d been having all sorts of pain down there so I just took some
Tylenol, not thinking anything about it.
Furthermore, I didn’t want to go to the hospital! This could not be it!! All I wanted to do was sleep.
But first I did what any normal person would do. I had to google it. All I got was a confusing bunch of
responses on how to tell if it was truly your water breaking. Typical. After googling something, I am only more lost. Finally, I woke up Ashton.
“I think that my water broke, but I don’t have any
contractions,” I said.
“No, I don’t think that’s what it is. It’s this other thing that the Prepared
Childbirth class told us about that you’d think is your water breaking,” Ashton
said.
“I don’t remember, but I guess that you’re right,” I said,
thinking that I haven’t been able to remember anything in quite some time. Surely he has more of a brain than me
at this point.
We prayed together and went back to sleep. It was pretty frustrating trying to
sleep with all of this fluid gushing out of me, so I kept on having to change
out the washcloths. (Stupid? Yes. But don’t judge.
At least I wasn’t one of those girls you hear about who give birth and
didn’t even know they were pregnant! Sorry if one of those girls is reading
this. But seriously, you didn’t
even know you were pregnant?!)
In the morning Ashton got up to run and I stayed in bed to
sleep in. Ashton came back in to
tell me that he’d talked with his friend, Brandon on his run who’d confirmed
that his wife had the same thing happen, but it wasn’t her water. They had diagnosed me. I was definitely not in labor. Hmmm, I thought. That’s weird.
Ashton left again to take Nola for a walk and I got up out of
bed to call the doctor’s office just for a piece of mind so that they could
tell me about this mysterious other thing that happens that is exactly like
your water breaking but isn’t. I
told them what had happened and they said to go to Triage at the Hospital
immediately. I was going to have a baby today. My stomach tightened and my chest got
heavy. Oh. My. Gosh.
I’ll never forget the emotions that swept over me. I was half doubting, half scared and
half excited. Would this really be
the day that I gave birth? Will they just send me back home? It was
not like I’d planned at all. I
didn’t even feel any contractions! I called Ashton to come back home and said we had to go to
the hospital. I called my mom and
told her that we were going to the hospital and she said she’d meet us
there.
I started crying as the emotions overwhelmed me. I couldn’t think. I tried to start packing my bag and
went into the bathroom to straighten my bangs. I was actually about to put on some makeup. Ashton came in. “What are you doing?” he said. “I will straighten my bangs,” I said,
daring him to try and stop me.
“And my bag’s not ready.”
“We’ll come back for it,” he said.
“Ok, let’s go,” I said.
“Just let me straighten my bangs first.”
We got in the car.
Why was he driving so slow?
I started to get angry and worried that we’d waited so long. I was hoping and praying that Noelle was still
ok. Did she have enough fluid
still in there to keep her alive? I
could still feel her move, so that gave me some peace. My sisters were texting how excited
they were. I texted back, not to
get too excited yet. This wasn’t
it. It couldn’t be. I just knew they’d send me back
home.
We finally made it to the hospital and I calmly walked into
Triage and told them that I think my water broke. I filled out some paper work and changed into my gown.
After my exam they confirmed that my water had broken. I will not cry, I thought to
myself. I will not cry. I will cry. And I did. Oh wow. I’m about to have my baby.
I guess I was going to have to call and cancel my massage
today after all.
When I got to my room, we started talking about pain medicine.
I was only dilated a little bit,
not even a centimeter yet. They
were worried about infection since my water had broken so long ago. It had been 9 or 10 hours at this
point, and I wasn’t dilating so they were going to give me pitocin to speed
things up. They asked if I was
getting an epidural. I said yes,
but not right now. They told me
that the pitocin would really get my contractions going and if I was going to
get one, I’d better go ahead. Oh
no, I thought. This was one of the
other things I’d googled a lot. I
was afraid that getting an epidural too soon would stall the labor. I thought I wouldn’t be able to
push. Frankly at this point I was
more concerned that I couldn’t eat anything all day. Oh well. Let’s do this.
I ended up getting the epidural right away since they
assured me it wouldn’t slow down labor because of the pitocin— and I didn’t want
to feel those contractions! Right
then all I felt was moderate cramps.
And that’s basically the most I felt as far as pain is concerned. So if you are going to get an epidural,
but have any reservations about getting it too early, don’t. It’s pure heaven. And if I wasn’t already married, I probably
would have tried to marry the anesthesiologist.
Finally at 4:00, I was ready to push. Luckily, I could feel the contractions,
but not the pain, so I knew when to push.
I was so thirsty, but barely had time between pushing to munch down a
piece of ice that Ashton gave me. I
kept thinking, how is this supposed to even happen?
After 30 minutes of pushing, Noelle was born. I will never forget how wonderful that
felt—what a relief and release! I
instantly started to cry. My baby
was here! They laid her on me and
I didn’t even care that she was all messy. I kissed her so many times and kept exclaiming, “You’re
perfect, you’re so perfect!” My
baby angel girl had arrived!
Noelle Celeste Prejean, 6 lbs. 7 oz. 18 ½ in, was born at 4:29 P.M. on
August 18, 2012. Our lives will
never be the same!
Things started to die down and I was finally able to eat. They had taken Noelle to the nursery and
I was the only one in the room as I ate—just me and my thoughts. It was so peaceful and I was so
happy. Did this all really just happen? It was all so surreal.
I finally got moved to my recovery room, but they still had
Noelle in the nursery. She had
some fluid in her lungs and were keeping her in there for a while for X-rays
and exams. Finally after 9 P.M.
they brought her to my room. After I got to see my baby again, it felt like all
was right in the world. They kept
her in the nursery over night for observation because she was making a grunting
noise and because she was a late preterm baby.
I was so exhausted, I barely remember the rest of the
night. I had to ask Ashton if they
even brought her to me to breastfeed. Which they did, I was just so tired I couldn’t remember. At that point, deciding to sleep for 8
more hours instead of going into the hospital at midnight when my water broke
seemed like a pretty good decision.
The next morning, they brought her to me, and I got to keep
her in my room. We were finally
able to bond! We cuddled and
practiced breastfeeding. I was
able to care for her all on my own!
She slept the night in my room and I enjoyed every bit of waking up to
feed her. It was just her and me…and
Ashton asleep on the couch :). I loved watching her sleep on me—a
perfect angel.
The next day, the nursery nurse came in. I couldn’t wait
to tell her how good she was doing.
She had other news to give.
They were taking my baby to NICU. Her blood sugar was low and she was still grunting. They were worried about an
infection. I could feel the hot
tears begin to form in my eyes as my nose burned. My heart had been broken. “Do you have to take her now?” I asked. She said yes. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I had been so glad that even with
Noelle being born 4 weeks early, she was healthy enough to go to the regular
nursery instead of NICU at first.
Having to give my baby up like that after we had spent time
loving on each other was terrible.
I know that this was what was best for her, but it tore me up. I held it together for a little while,
but after the nurse wheeled my precious Noelle out the door, I lost it and just
wept. I felt so empty—so
helpless.
I went to NICU every 3 hours to visit Noelle and spent at
least 2 hours in there, feeding, pumping, changing, holding. . .wishing,
praying. I’d go back to my room for
a short time to rest and then go back.
I was exhausted. I was
tortured. I lay in bed and looked
at the pictures I had of her from that day when we bonded. I cried all night that night.
The 24 hours that Noelle was in NICU was the longest and
some of the most horrible moments of my life. I know that other parents have babies in there for weeks and
have to go home with out them. I
don’t know how they do it. I hated
seeing my baby hooked up with all of those wires. I hated having to leave my room to go down there to see her
and feed her. The worst part was feeling
like my baby wasn’t my baby at all.
I couldn’t wait to go home with her.
After 4 days in the hospital, we could both go home! Noelle ended up not having an
infection, but I’m glad that we took the precautions. The day she was born was probably the best day of my life,
but the day we went home would be a close second. This is where our story would truly begin. We would start this amazing journey together
as mother and daughter! The gift
I’d always wanted. God has truly
given me the desire of my heart.
Noelle, you amaze me.
You are such a sweet angel.
Everyone says how beautiful you are and what a doll you are. They’re right. But you are so much more. You’ve stolen my heart and I’ll never
be the same. You’ve come so far
and learned so much in such a brief period of time. You’ve taught me so much too—like how to be patient when you
need me in the middle of the night--again. Even though it’s hard to lose so much sleep, I treasure
holding you and comforting you back to sleep. I will never stop loving you or praying for you. I can’t wait until I can braid your
hair and paint your nails. I’m
going to love playing dress up with you, going shopping with you and teaching
you all about style. It’s going to
be great when you and I can talk and talk for hours about anything. I am honored to be your mommy, Noelle. I love you more than words can say…more
than you’ll ever know.
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Getting ready to have a baby!! |
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Presenting Noelle Celeste Prejean! |
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Perfection! |
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Love at first sight! |
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Proud parents |
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I can't stop looking at this angel! |
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Taking it all in |
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I love my mommy's kisses! |
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Sleeping Angel |
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Cuddle time |
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About to go HOME!!!!! |